ShitMyDadSays.....A True Sage

I cannot stop reading these....this 74 year old man is fucking hilarious!
Apparently his 29 year old son just posts shit his dad says and I love it....here are some recents...

"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."

"We're out of Grape Nuts... No, what's left is for me. Sorry, I should have said "You're out of Grape Nuts."

"No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist."

"Can we talk later? The news is on... Well, if you have tuberculosis it's not gonna get any worse in the next 30 minutes, jesus."

"Does anyone your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking."

"We didn't have a prom. Dancing wasn't allowed...What's Footloose?...That's the plot of the movie? That sounds like a pile of shit."

I think the baby shit....Well, I'm smelling shit right now, so if it ain't the baby, one of you has a big fucking problem."

"No, you can not borrow my t-shirt...How about instead of standing there looking shocked, you do your fucking laundry?"

"Oh please, you practically invented lazy. People should have to call you and ask for the rights to lazy before they use it."

"I'm just gonna be me and they can go fuck themselves...Don't care, that's the only attitude you can have when you go to the DMV."


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