Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Peach Puke & The Police

Woo hoo!
We are going to see the Police tonight! YAY!

I am so excited!

I am not happy about my coffee being cold AGAIN though.
I am also a little disconcerted that the baby puked up a little bit of peaches on the mattress we have laying downstairs. Sigh.
Ah, children.

So yeah. Can't wait to see the show tonight!

So now the only question is, should I microwave this coffee again or just suck it up and drink it while I have the chance?

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Quotes: Stolen but Funny

I totally stole these quotes frome someone else's blog.
I had to have them, so I stole them.

Random Quotes from a School

// Economics class
Mr. Zack: Utility is something you can't put a number on. For example, I like cheerios more than corn flakes. You can't attatch a value to it.
John Sherwood: 3.
Mr. Zack: *long stare* This is why I drink.

// During AP Physics lecture
Students: What's that piece of rope dangling from the ceiling?
Dr. Dell: It's a noose.
Students: What's it for?
Dr. Dell: Actually, it's really cool, but I can only show you once.

// History, simulating Napoleon's trial on whether he was good or bad; Russia is the witness
Prosecution: Okay, Russia. *holds up a map* This is a map of your territory. Now when Napoleon invaded, where did he touch you?

Mr. McFaden: *walking through a chattering class, very quietly* Sex.
Class: *keeps talking, does not notice*
Mr. McFaden: *still very quietly* Extra credit.
Class: *perks up* Did you say extra credit? What?
Mr. McFaden: From a biological standpoint, that's just WRONG.

// In the middle of Spanish, Brendan passes a note to Nolan
Nolan: Sra. Pou, I think you should read this note Brendan passed me...
Brendan: No! I didn't write that!
Sra. Pou: (reading note to class) "Tu madre es gordo y homosexuál". Very well done, the note is even in Spanish! You even put an accent in homosexual! Now, the only thing wrong with it is it should be gorda, not gordo since it is tu madre, which is feminine. Muy bien!
// Sra. Pou hands note back to Nolan, Brendan sighs in relief.

// Discussing Shakers in HUM
Boris: Wait, there are still Shakers in America today?
Ms. Maeda: Yes.
Boris: The ones that practice celibacy?
Ms. Maeda: Yes.
Boris: ... How are they still around?

I just read that last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?

// From Michael Yura's LAN Party FAQ
Q. Will there be any bonfires?
A. Sorry Anise, there will not be any bonfires available at my Halo 2 party.
Q. You suck.
A. Please make your insults in the form of a question.
Q. You suck?
A. No, I don't.

// Mr. Forbes is doing a brief intro lecture on electricity
Forbes: So of the four fundamental forces of the universe, electricity is the only one we can do much with. Anything an electron can do, we can /make/ it do.
// Power goes out
Forbes: So as I was saying, we are the MASTERS of electricity!

// In Physics class
Mr. Bagden: I'm holding a number up behind my back, whoever guesses closest gets to do the demonstration. Evan, you're first.
Evan: Uhhh... five.
Mr. Bagden: Ok, Galen?
Galen: Seven, I read a book that says the number is always seven.
Mr. Bagden: I'm only holding one hand behind my back.

// There's a big *bang* as the lightbulb in the projector explodes when Dr. Cammer turns it on. Everyone screams and Dr. Cammer is cowering in fear, holding his stomach. Everyone stares at him.
Dr. Cammer: Well, you know, you hear these stories about students shooting their teachers...

// Day before the snow day, when everyone was anxious for the snow to start
Mr. Pollet: Is it snowing already?!
Max So: YEAH! *runs out of the room*
Mr. Pollet: Is that all it takes to get rid of him? If I had known that, I would have said it in early September.

Mrs. Bello: Conversation is an essential skill. Does anyone disagree?
Student: *timidly raises hand*
Mrs. Bello: Do you want to elaborate?
Student: No.

Mr. Nawrotzky: In the first column, there's your grade, in the second column, there's how much money you gave me, and in the third column, there's your revised grade.

J: Wow. I got owned by a math test today.
K: What was it on?
J: Like, everything. Here's a sample question: If three students run the mile, given the fact that it was 87.5 degrees that day with a wind factor of 78*34^4.56-8, and one of them was hungry, and one of them has asthma, what are their middle names?
K: Ouch.

// In Mr. Stueben's PreCalc class, taking a quiz. 5 minutes until lunch.
Mr Stueben: *stares at the clock*
Mr Stueben: ...
Mr Stueben: *Takes clock off the wall, turns it five minutes forward* Alright, it's time for lunch! Turn in your quizzes!

//AP US History
//Mr. Sleete talks about funny AP US essays he has graded for College Board
Essay: Okay, I know absolutely nothing about this subject, but there is a really hot girl sitting across from me, so I need to keep writing in order to look smart. I am going to tell you my life story....

// French class
Substitute: Okay, everyone.. I only speak English, but your teacher left me a note to give extra food to those who speak the most French.
Nicole: (in French) Fuck this.
Substitute: You there! Nicole, is it? You seem enthusiastic enough... More food for you!

// Taken from a student's personal information sheets handed out by Dr. Jones on the first day of class
Form: Please list three characteristics that describe yourself.

1. indecisive
2. __________
3. __________

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Where is my Mind?

I totally forgot there was a party going on tonight at my brother in law's house.
For his wife's brother's return from Iraq.
My husband went over there to eat.
I thought he was just going to eat there for the hell of it!
In fact, I should have gone too!
I feel like such a retard!
Seriously, where is my mind?
Why do I forget things?
It's scaring me!


Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Not the Father


So my poor husband never gets a break from endless bullshit.
I remember when we moved back to PA just at the beginning of this year he wasn't allowed to get his PA drivers license because he had some 10 year old ticket in SC from a trip with his ex that he PAID but didn't pay the "privelege fee" to have it reinstated. Cost? $50 bucks to SC. So stupid.

That's just one example of his past haunting him.

Today we find out his insurance won't accept his son's (from his ex) birth certificate because his parents' names aren't on it. SO what happened? The hospital must have messed up big time because nobody signed a paternity/maternity form or whatever and so now there is all this rigamarole about how the state doesn't recognize him as the father which means he probably won't be able to cover him under his insurance if this doesn't get straightened out in 9 days. It takes 6 weeks just to process a paternity form and get a birth certificate issued, and that's AFTER he signs the form, gets the mother to sign something too AND have it notorized....ugh. So I find this hospital "family history" certificate with his name on it and who knows if that will be good for anything, expediting or whatever.

My husband has the worst luck with bullshit from that time period with his ex.
Good thing they aren't together anymore. She sounds like bad juju to me!

Tuesday, July 01, 2008


Yes. I am tired.
But I will eat and I will swim and that will help my mood.


Wish I could be at a place like this for 4th of July hehe