Friday, January 22, 2010

ShitMyDadSays.....A True Sage

I cannot stop reading these....this 74 year old man is fucking hilarious!
Apparently his 29 year old son just posts shit his dad says and I love are some recents...

"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."

"We're out of Grape Nuts... No, what's left is for me. Sorry, I should have said "You're out of Grape Nuts."

"No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist."

"Can we talk later? The news is on... Well, if you have tuberculosis it's not gonna get any worse in the next 30 minutes, jesus."

"Does anyone your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking."

"We didn't have a prom. Dancing wasn't allowed...What's Footloose?...That's the plot of the movie? That sounds like a pile of shit."

I think the baby shit....Well, I'm smelling shit right now, so if it ain't the baby, one of you has a big fucking problem."

"No, you can not borrow my t-shirt...How about instead of standing there looking shocked, you do your fucking laundry?"

"Oh please, you practically invented lazy. People should have to call you and ask for the rights to lazy before they use it."

"I'm just gonna be me and they can go fuck themselves...Don't care, that's the only attitude you can have when you go to the DMV."

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Ok Froot Loops not so bad..

Actually, Froot Loops has gotten healthier since the reviews I saw. As I was looking at my box of Froot Loops, comparing nutrition information against that of my son's other favorite cereal, Raisin Bran, I couldn't believe how much LESS sugar Froot Loops had....and they make it with FIBER bout that.

Maybe next time I blog, I'll show my pot roast done Barefoot Contessa style.

Monday, January 04, 2010

Raisinettes Count As Fruit

Fruit Antioxidants plus chocolate therapy!
Now if only it was easier and just as cheap to get some chocolate covered raisins with less processed chocolate. I could google it but I'm lazy and already eating these so MEH.

I'm still suffering from what the central Texans in Hill Country refer to as "Cedar Fever" allergies. Whether those insufferable Juniper trees and their nasty pollens are the culprit, I am not scientifically sure, but what I do know is that I haven't ever sneezed this much with itchy eyes in my life and I grew up in Texas! It is said that you can develop an allergy to that stuff if you live around it for 20 years (which I have) and so it makes sense to me.

Either way....this fucking sucks!
I used the last of the Children's Claritin for myself (that's right! Kids come second this time, Mommy needs to be able to function!) but I'll get some more later today. Kids don't seem to really be suffering like me.

I'm all out of my Breakfast teas (both English AND Irish varieties!!! NOOOO!) so I'm trying this Carrington stuff that my friend brought over for a December Tacky Tea Party I held. That was cool, I even made an awesome spinach bacon and cheddar quiche with the crust from scratch! (Yes, awesome.)

I'm hopped up on vitamin B, C and calcium and all I have to say is I better get over this crap soon because my husband bought Blue Moon beers and I have yet to have one! I just can't drink alcohol if I'm "sick", it lowers my immunity. Booo.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

A Resolution I Intend to Fulfull

New Year's Resolutions for me are usually some self-improvement kind of goal, but this year, or rather last year a few weeks ago, I decided my resolution would be to finally contribute money to PBS. I've been watching them for years and now rely on them as an essential tool in my business of mommyhood and now that government has cut funding for them, I feel like a total jerk that I enjoy their programs without paying a dime for them.

Construction workers have drills and hammers and screwdrivers. They pay for their own tools if they are contractors.
Every office pays for office supplies.
I don't have TOO many arts and crafts laying around for my kids but when I need a break and I don't want my kids watching explosive seizure-inducing commercials for toys and cereals burning holes in their brains, I put on old PBS and I trust Big Bird and Cookie Monster, Clifford and Curious George to entertain them while I have a cup of coffee or take a shower.

I figure I could send a check in thanks for all those much needed cuppas and trips to the water closet.

Thank you, PBS.

Blue Dye = Brilliant Green Poop

My son has been pooping a brilliant green key lime poopie paste lately and my only suspect has been the Froot Loops I've been feeding him thanks to Daddy bringing home what was on sale one day. Now he prefers them over all else even to the point of boycotting breakfast altogether. Grr...but that's another story entirely.

Well, it happened again today so I did a little Google research and found this shitty site that I've found once or twice before.

Imagine my knowing smirk when my suspicions were confirmed as the Poop Report explained "scientifically proven" assertions that FDA Blue #5 turns your poop bright green if enough quantity is consumed. Well, Froot Loops contains only Blue #1 and #2 but I'm willing to bet two blues make for green poo too.

It doesn't hurt my theory that my son likes to pick out and eat the blue ones either....

Unfortunately I know very well Froot Loops is not a smart choice for my young son, but after this box, I'll be switching back to multi grain Cheerios or Kix or something. If he doesn't eat it, he can just be hungry until lunchtime when he can either eat what I make or tantrum his way out of another meal. I figure he will eat if he truly gets hungry. That's enough (green) crap out of you, mister!

Oh yes, and if anyone who used to read my blog noticed I've been silent since October 09, hello again. I guess I finally have stuff to say now that I've weened myself off of facebook. :P

Friday, August 21, 2009




Friday, July 31, 2009

Massacre in my Driveway

I'm am exhausted from shopping today with the kids. nap....drove to Jersey for a toddler bed off craigslist....then Target for extra shit that was cheaper than a grocery store and stuff for the beach. AND THEN......

When I got home I knocked the damn laundry detergent on the ground and it spilled all over the driveway. I scooped up as much as I could with my hands and put it back in the bottle. I don't care about dirt, I mean that shit gets washed away anyway. AND THEN.........

I took Al's shorts from when he got Pacific poison oak in California and sopped up what I didn't scoop up and I hand washed them twice in that manner. So I went to rinse off the driveway with the hose I noticed hooked up in the garage and there was fucking bubbles and suds everywhere! AND THEN.......

The hose leaked from the faucet and got all over Al's weight bench and the floor so I had to clean that shit up too. WTF. Stupid Purex.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

World of Warcraft Movie...directed by Sam Raimi??


Press Release:


Raimi, acclaimed director of the blockbuster Spider-Man series, will bring the forces of the Horde and the Alliance to life in epic live-action film. Charles Roven's Atlas Entertainment will produce alongside Raimi's Stars Road Entertaiment.