Friday, June 06, 2014

I Wonder If Lil Jon Has Life Insurance

So I've been looking into getting life insurance and had been filling out the health questionnaire, when I realize that if I tell them I smoke a cigar occasionally (like 2 or 3 times in a whole year), the cost of even have insurance becomes kind of ridiculous. So really, do I even get considered a "user" if I barely ever smoke them? And seriously, I'm not a smoker beyond that. Never picked up a cigarette in my life, nor do I want to.

This led me to do more research.

I found all kinds of questions about this matter on the internet, ranging in topic from marijuana use to cigarette smokers who think a few cigarettes a week don't count. (LOL people, really?)
Turns out, if you lie on your life insurance application and you die from possible related causes or they discover traces of cotinine and nicotine, then OOPS, YOUR BENEFICIARY PROBABLY GETS NO MONEY. You know that $500,000 you get when your husband dies? Nope. He lied about those occasional habits.

Sucks, right?

Granted, I would most likely be considered for a non-smoker's policy because I'd show no traces of cotinine in my physical and it's WAY less than 12 cigars in a year, but still. This whole insurance seems more and more scammy to me the more I read up about it.

Is it a bad time to get individual life insurance?
Do I want to pay an insurance company to breathe down my neck for my celebratory habits?
Not really.
Would it be irresponsible of me to go without life insurance?
Maybe, but only if I died.
If I pay a lot of money over the years to a term policy and I don't die, will I get any of that money back?
Fuck no. sure costs a lot extra to be judged on your life doing anything like smoking cigars, seeing the world and skydiving. It's like, hey! You can't have any fun unless you have money. Not only to do all those things, but to be covered by insurance to do them too! Who says money doesn't buy happiness? Rich people. That's who.

So what if you just like to get fucked up all the time and bang bitches and sing about it all over the world or whatever shit hole you get booked at? TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?!?!?

I bet you anything, Lil Jon doesn't have life insurance.
It would cost a fortune to cover that muthafucker.
I could be wrong though. He probably can afford it, but that begs the question: if you have all this money already, do you even need coverage?
Maybe just as an alternative to a savings account, only you don't get any interest back.

I think I'm just going to work on my savings account and hope I don't die any time soon.
What a relief that decision is!
Thanks Lil Jon. I couldn't have done it without you.

Tuesday, June 03, 2014

Facebook is the Usurper of Time (and probably your soul)

Facebook has been consuming my mornings.
 It's awful.

  • My coffee gets cold.
  • I get nothing productive done.
  • I even spend my time doing fun things and thinking about how I can paraphrase and write about it on Facebook later.
  • My personal pictures and daily quips are fueling the ad revenue for whoever the hell owns it now.

 This has to stop.

 I'm going back to blogging.
 I can say whatever I want and I can post whatever I want in a nice aesthetically appealing way.


 And anyone can check it out...
 And maybe I'll even put my own ads up so I can make money off of my own words and pictures and then I can afford a season pass to the amusement park of my choice for the summer!!!! YES!!!!

 That is if they don't fuck it all up with the Net Neutrality bullshit coming our way.

 And if you haven't heard about Net Neutrality or would like an entertaining yet informative breakdown on what that means for us, I'll let Jon Oliver tell you all about it.