Friday, September 21, 2007

I am legally blonde

Yup - I had my hair dyed a week ago.
I'm blonde for the first time ever!

Check it out!

Jeez....I'll have to get pics of me with make-up on soon LOL


Happy birthday to my husband.
I gave him his bday present early today....a freakin' Wii!

We've been playing it all day on his comp day home from work. LOL
Now he's playing Metroid Prime 3: Corruption

He's so excited.
And me too...Mario Party was fun but watching him play this game is actually enjoyable since it's action packed and has puzzles. :)

Anyway....haven't blogged in a while.
Just been home. Pregnant.
I think I'll bake a cake tonite for his birthday. Yum yum butter recipe yellow from the box. I am obsessed with batter and so I'll probably lick the bowl and the spoon and probably stick my fingers in there before I pour it out

I swear I'll eat anything batter.
Cakes, Pie dough, cookie dough, pancake batter, tortilla dough, corn muffin name it! I love my uncooked baked goods! LOL

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Every:One @ Soma Memoirs

Batman Revealed

God, I love Batman....

It's not necessarily the actors in the movies and I've never even read the comics, but I just love the idea of Batman.I could even go so far as to say that the idea of Batman even turns me on. Although, casting Christian Bale (one of my most favorite actors to lust after) as my favorite all-time character ever created was a recipe for winning my affections, or if you want to get raunchy about it, causing me to cream my pants.

A funny thing though - I can not imagine that if I were face to face with a Batman, I would not be inclined to have any sexual relations with him despite my swooning and desire to be close. He is altogether untouchable and unattainable and this could possibly be one of the reasons I adore him so much. He is what I can never have and my god is that sexy.

Another aspect of this self-analysis is that I sometimes feel that I don't necessarily want to be WITH him, but sometimes I want to BE him. I feel as if I could be that dark, brooding, do-gooder. I would want the money, the intelligence, and to be constantly in that state of preliminary romance and desire that lead up to a lust-filled, sultry, dangerous and nerve-wracking first kiss. That feeling of suspended desire that you can only get from that first mutual tender moment between two people who desire each other and are just now realizing it, moments before their flesh is allowed to alight on fire and fuse together with a touch, a kiss, an embrace, exploring the new, eager body of the other. This Batman never seems to have a lasting relationship and is continuously thrown into dark, nocturnal encounters of this sort.

The other factor is his alter-ego's wish to have a lasting relationship.It seems, I used to be this Batman-type nocturnal creature, working my feminine magic on new encounters but my Bruce Wayne has finally won me over and I wish to have a lasting relationship. To have love, to have a family and a future.But I will never forget the feeling I got when I thought of myself as a sultry vixen, a woman not to be reckoned with, a woman whom many found irresistable....I felt dark and powerful - I felt excited and alive with each first suspended moment before each new encounter - only temporarily satisfied after each conquest was completed - the thrill of the hunt - the neverending chase for that "fix" of ensnaring the desires of another. It wasn't necessarily the outcome I craved, but that moment that another human being decided to want me. I was never satisfied.

Eventually, I stopped feeling powerful from these encounters and I felt more like a victim than a vixen. I began to discover, or percieve, that the attentions I received were not of a person wanting me as a whole, but only wanting me as an unemotional, organic receptacle. I was not beloved, I was used. As used as those that I had ignorantly used for quite another reason altogether in the past. I had realized my just desserts. My own thinking destroyed my alter-ego. I had been living a fantasy designed to crumble in upon itself.

I am not really a vixen on the inside.
I am a lover, a feeler, a sympathetic soul designed to latch on to one person and devote all of my love and attention to.

I am not an independent rogue seeking conquests and gain. I am a needy partner seeking companionship and honesty.

I am not a badass. I am a comedian.

I am not chained to my woes. I am a free spirit flying like a butterfly from whim to whim.

I am not a flawless image of perfection. I'm a moody, happy, crabby, silly, bitchy, giving and selfish person....I'm a human and I make absolutely no sense to anyone but I make perfect sense to myself. Sometimes.

So yeah. Batman is the shit. Unless you anaylze his history.
I'd have to say that in my opinion, one's Glory Days aren't really very glorious if you think about it.

Bitches and Hoes - July 8, 2006

I am going to go on a rant tangent here and it's all thanks to seeing a rap video on someone's myspace profile.....

I swear, I will never understand the popular rap industry's ideals for visuals which include, but are not limited to, "bitches and hoes" shaking their body parts in barely-there attire. I hate to call them clothes because they really aren't more than stitched rags covering breasts and crevices.I've seen the way the hawkers stand on the street, South Street for example, and ogle the girls that walk by. The girls love it too for some reason. That's how they get their attention. I personally hate it and find it disgusting.

Sometimes I just want to tell these girls...."Hey, why don't you just go out on the street butt-naked and line up in a row bent over with your asses out in the air so the guys can just stroll by and pick out which pussy he wants to stick his dick in. That's practically what's going on. Why bother wearing "clothes"? There isn't much there anyway.

The videos with the bling bling and the jacked up cars with hydraulics bouncing around too are just as irritating....CARS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BOUNCE, YOU IDIOTS.BUY A FUCKING TRAMPOLINE IF YOU WANNA BOUNCE.It's one thing to have a diamond necklace or a ring or whatever, but the designs these rappers are choosing to put these diomonds in are just plain tacky. Why don't we just make a diamond studded grub-worm, or a giant diamond happy face, or a giant diamond pendant in the shape of the phrase "I HAVE LOTS OF MONEY AND YOU DON'T I AM SO COOL LOOK AT ME WASTE MONEY INSTEAD OF INVESTING SOME SO I CAN HAVE A FUTURE."

But the view of women in this culture is a problem because not all black women act or dress like strippers and many are very respectable and I have heard quite a few express the same opinion on the matter. It's just a shame that there isn't more "black" entertainment out there representing a less derogatory portayal of black women or on civilized lifestyles. You just can't convince me that every black American lives a life of gun-toting, drug-selling, and general stupid machismo.Growing up in Dallas, I was surrounded mostly by the hispanic community, the black community coming in a close second, so nobody better dispute my credibility regarding having a little knowledge about these cultures. My junior high school was predominantly black (about 90œ the hispanic population about 5Àfollowed by white and "other," meaning that I was one of 9 white kids in a school of 1500 along with 2 Indians, and 3 Asians. Believe me, I remember that. I also remember learning how to do the "tootsie roll" and the "butterfly" dances during "get out of class free by paying to go to a school dance in the middle of the day because the neighborhood is too dangerous for kids to have dances at night dance." I was down with O.P.P.

At any rate, sure I'm aware of the difficulties that a large number of blacks in the nation have because they are among the poorer communities and that crime is inevitable in poor communities - it is unfortunate....but if you look at the poor latino and white communities, you may notice that the latinos are very much like the blacks in regards to the women - bitches and hoes and tricks - and the whites treat the women with more respect - although I can vouch that there are quite a few trailer trash hoes out there - but they are still treated with more respect than the other races (aside from actual strippers - they don't get respect from much of anyone regardless of their personalities or backgrounds because their profession is an overwhelming derogatory symbol). Asian women don't take shit from nobody so I don't even have to go there....

What I'm getting at is that this belittling of women phenomenon is not necessary, but it is there....where did it come from? Why is it getting worse?Why is it so mainstream? The number one demographic that buys this crap is middle-class white men somewhere between the ages of 13 to 30. Hello? Does this make any sense to anyone else? Do you think they would buy it if it was a white rapper with white chicks dancing around like sluts? Is this a racial thing? What's the deal, where are all those talented black artists who have intelligent rap songs that I know are out there? I'll tell you where....they are underground, just like the good rock, jazz, blues, and every other decent musician is. The reason? Corporate pigs with the marketing bulldogs spend their money on what the middle class white kids are spending their parents' hard earned money know, utter crap. I'm sorry J-Lo, but your music sucks. I 'm sorry to all you rappers out there trying to sing ballads, but you are all off key and it doesn't sound good to me to hear a gravelly-voiced tone def mother fucker trying to serenade the country. You're no Nat King Cole or Frank Sinatra. The days of quality in the mainstream are over. The nation is suffering from severe mediocrity and that really boils my blood and makes me sad for the new generations....

Make no mistake, I will be trying my best to make some new music that isn't mediocre.....even if it's only played underground.

Humuhumunukunukua pua'a

JUNE 25, 2006

Well, I'm back from my week-long trip to Hawaii!
It was a great time. Even though Al was at the conference for most of it, it was a good time when we got to do things together. The hotel was beautiful. The Rennaissance Ilikai Hotel. The pool over looked the boats docked on the shore and beyond was the ocean. There were palm trees and exotic tropical flowering trees and bushes, hibiscus, and you could smell the fragrant leis made of plumeria hung around the necks of visitors. The drinks were expensive but tasty and nice to look at with the fresh cut of pineapple and cherries. The water in the ocean was bright blue and green and on some days you could see your feet in the course, crushed-coral sand even though you were up to your chest in salt water. Snorkeling in Hanauma Bay was fun, peaceful, exciting, and kind of scary all at the same time. The fish were amazing but the choppiness of the ocean that day made swiming near the giant coral somewhat frightening since it could cut up a person with help from a crashing wave. The state fish is really fun to try to say out loud: Humuhumunukunukua'pua'a.

Fun stuff!

The Food

Here are some of the highlights.

Wailana Coffee House

Well, this has to be the most awesome place to get breakfast anywhere.
First of all, it is a family diner with the most efficient server-staff ever. They were like machines! Most of them were older women of Polynesian/Filipino/Japanese descent, and the service was amazing. There was one lady by the name of Jo who served us that stood out because of her quirky way of giving food nicknames. A few examples: "Would you like some caffeine with your cholesterol?" "How would you like your eggs destroyed?" "I brought some sticky for you," and she puts down the pancake syrup. "Here is a little decor for your table," and she puts down the jars of jams and marmalades. Aside from all that, the food was great. The hashbrowns perfect, the "all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast" might has well have been called "3 Pancake Breakfast." They served fresh pineapple spears and fresh papaya which we devoured immediately. The coffee was perfect, not too strong, not bitter. We ate there almost every morning.

The Chart House

his place was the highlight meal of the year.
The appetizer was a real crab cake with fresh crabmeat served over a pasta with this amazing pink cream sauce I believe was made with guava or soemthing like that. It was great. Then we had oysters on the half shell - also fresh and delicious. Al ordered Garlic-Marinated steak, which came with garlic mashed potatoes and some vegetable medley. One bite of the tender cut of beef made our eyes roll up into our heads with ecstasy from the garlicky goodness. I ordered the Spiny Lobster Tail which was the best tasting lobster tail I have ever had the pleasure of tasting. I too had the garlic mashed potatoes and soy beans with carrots. It was not only fabulous food and never-ending refilling your water service, but we were on the deck just outside the main room with a view of the boats, and the ocean immediately before us with a palm tree right next to our table just outside the railing. The breeze from the ocean cooled our faces and during our meal out of nowhere a fireworks show began exploding just to the left of our already beautiful view, immortalizing the magic evening forever.


This was a Japanese buffet restaraunt which served sushi, rolls, customized stir fry and desserts. It was interesting choosing from all the sushi rolls, including one called "ocean salad" but unfortunately we had to get back to the hotel for a session of the conference and so I had to grab a quick bite of pineapple and a pineapple tart from the dessert line as we headed out the door.


This is one of the local Hawaiian dives that we stopped at while on our excursion around the island in a crappy rental Tracker when we stopped in Wahi'wa to visit my friend Deyja. From what I heard from several people was that the equivalent of Philly's staple Cheesesteak was Hawaii's staple Plate Lunch. The plate lunch was usually two scoops of rice, one scoop of macaroni salad heavy heavy on the mayonnaise, and your choice of BBQ meat. The teriyaki steak (Teri Steak) had a great flavor (sweet and salty), the other meats wre chicken, ribs (cut across the bones so that you had meat surrounding 3 or 4 button-shaped bones rather than cut between the bones so that you have whole rib bones). Or you could have Mahi Mahi or fried shrimp. It was a fusion of Chinese and Polynesian cuisine that had been scaled down to a fattening BBQ type joint basically. I would have to say that I was not really impressed other than that the teri steak's flavor reminded me of how my Filipino step-mother made her steaks at home.

Shrimp Farm

On our way around the island in our crappy Tracker, we saw amazing views of the ocean and the misty mountains, but one of the well-known finds on the road that surrounds the island is the fresh shrimp farm trucks. That's right. Shrimp from a giant trailer. They had a tank full of big shrimps swimming around that they would catch, de-head and boil right there for you. It was amazing. We ate the shrimp with nothing on them and it was the freshest shrimp ever. They didn't even taste fishy, Al said. That was a pleasant stop.

The Dixie Grill

The outer exterior of this place was that of a red barn and they boasted the best crabs and BBQ/southern food around. I had to try it! They had chicken fried stead on the menu and I was filled with nostalgia from Texas. I ordered the BBQ chicken and brisket, Al had the chicken and ribs. They were amazing. Well, the chicken wasn't that great, but the brisket was something I haven't tasted in years since I lived in Texas. They had their own BBQ sauces, 6 different kinds! I liked the Memphis style and the Hawaiian style. I bought two bottles of each. The hush puppies were awesome and they had these yams that were not orange in color, but a pale yellow! They were freakin great too! FYI - Hawaii has purple yams too.....neat!

Well, Al and I had a good time and we took lots of video and pictures.

Hopefully I can get some of those soon - I have to develop mine and get them on a Cd and Al used a digital camera so I might get his first. My dumbass packed my 800 speed film in the bag that I checked on the plane so I'm hoping that the X-Ray didn't ruin the film. *crosses fingers* If so, at least I have my memories. I did plenty of shopping and got some tropical print skirts, keychains, a Hawaiian shirt for my dad and Al bought our friend Lucas a grass skirt and coconut boobs just like he wanted. THAT is a picture I must get up here hahahaah! Aloha and Mahalo to you all - but honestly I'm glad I don't have to hear those words or stupid ukeleilis anymore. The Hawaiian language is so primitive sounding and all the street names all sound the same! I really enjoyed how nice everyone was though. Al and I wondered if perhaps it was just for the tourists, but no! The cab driver was nice, the young guy at the Adidas store in the mall was really cool, the lady on the bus was friendly and they all talked to you and seemed generally interested in where you came from and what you were up to. I imaging they like to get news from the mainland other than CNN. It was very refreshing though, apart from the ukeleli music in the touristy places. The reggae music was great. But when we got home I asked Lucas to tell me to fuck off so I could feel like I was home again. He obliged and I squealed with delight and gave him a hug even though he was wearing those goofy coconuts that we got him.


This was one of my favorite Looney Tunes cartoons ever!!!!!

Housewarming Pics from earlier this year

And now, I finally post the house-warming photos.
What a great time!

Kira, Allison & Jon

Lucas & Phyllis - getin the party started!

Oh yes, I love my custom Jenga game.
I get to put lipstick on Imri!

Party Crew must go home sometime....
Jay, me(hiding), Steph, and Blair....and right after they went out the door I was puking in the bathroom. Doh.

The Jenga game found the morning after.

Bad Dreams

This was a post from earlier this year transferred to this blog:

Last night I had a dream that we took Al's truck, which is primer gray, to Los Angeles. We were going to be guests in a tv show audience. Then we were at a six flags type theme park where we got on a roller coaster - Marilyn was on it too and she cried. I think we were stoned too which was supposed to explain why we kept going on it so many times. Finally when I realized Marilyn was crying, we had to get off and go to the truck. It took a second to figure out where it was, but when we got to it, it was all covered in graffiiti. Apparently the primer gray was too irrisistable a blank canvas for graffiti.

Then I woke up and realized Marilyn was indeed crying because she had woken up.

Secret Lover

It is dark in here.
Dark in this room. Dark outside.
Dark in my head.

There isn't much to see, really, but the wind....
Oh how the wind is teasing me, flirting with me,
oh so dangerously

I stare out the window for a moment
I stop and ignore what dances outside
The wind calls to me, insists on my attention,
The leaves have no choice but to rustle my name
The wind says so, and so it must be
But I pretend to ignore it still

And then it happens.
He comes in my open window
He caresses my face and slides over my shoulder
My arm prickles with delight at his slightest touch
So I look....and he is gone again

You have my attention now
And you have faded away
I listen for your sound
But even the trees do not betray you

At least not for long
I hear them give you away again
But you do not come to my window
I let out a sigh
I knew you would do this to me
I tried to ignore you but..... sly blew me a kiss.......

You can be so gentle, so sensual
Like a lover's breath exploring each curve
Thank you for being such a gentleman tonight
As I sit and type
And trail off to bed with a knowing smile upon my face

(Yes I just wrote that off the top of my head - I know, I'm so good)

Animated Me

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

My Top 10 Favorite Alcoholic Beverages

If you MUST know my alcoholic preferences, here are my top 10 many mood-dependent favorites:

1. Brandy Alexander (cold nights, sweet tooth, or in the mood for creamy beverage - sometimes I'll accept a brandy & coke if there are no other mixers just to get the warming sensation of brandy with a good mellow buzz)

2. Frangelico & Baileys w/cream on the rocks (when I'm not in the mood to get wasted and want something tasty)

3. Don Julio or Herradura (añejo) Margarita on the rocks - no salt (when I wanna get crazy and a gooood buzz - this usually leads to dancing and flirting unless I'm in a bad mood, then I talk shit like I'm bulletproof after 3 or 4)

4. Piña Colada with Parrot Bay coconut rum (I'm allergic to Malibu for some reason  - this drink is for when I want to chill out with family or friends at a restaraunt usually or on vacation)

5. Jack & coke w/lemon (to get fucked up, of course - this is my bad girl drink)

6. Red Bull & Kettle One Vodka (Stoli will do) w/splash of ginger ale or sprite (to get wasted AND stay up late)

7. Pinot Grigio white wine spritzer (for drinking on hot summer days outdoors, which isn't very often - I just discovered this drink actually)

8. Red wine (usually Merlot or Shiraz - for when I'm having red meat, italian food, staying home to watch a movie or when I want sex)

9. I don't do shots really anymore,  but if you make me, I'll choose a shot of Jack or a Lemon Drop

10. Mojito (for when I'm feeling exotic or in the mood for some minty freshness) - oh yeah that limey, sugary minty drink is sooooooo yummy....I haven't had one in a while. Not many places have the right ingredients to make it properly.

But since I'm pregnant - I can't really enjoy any of these for a while....le sigh.

In other news.....look at this!!! lol
what will they think of next!

Friday, June 01, 2007

Marilyn vs. Teletubbies

Marilyn is watching Teletubbies for the first time today.

It seems that whenever the baby sun comes on and starts making laughing screamy-baby coos, Marilyn gets pissed and starts screaming back. It is quite possible that the baby sun is a smart-ass jerk and we adults just didn't know it.





How To Cut a Mango

Simply Recipes - How To Cut A Mango

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

About Last Year's Xmas List

So I was rifling through an old email I sent to my husband and lo and behold I found a list of things I might want should my husband be unable to think of what a Teri might want. Near the end of it I wrote this:

These are things I want but don't necessarily want as a christmas gift)
rolling pin (to bop you on the head with!) hehe no I want to make pie dough and tortillas
ink for my printer
my posters and other misc artwork that I never display need custom framing

Anyway, the rolling pin bit made me laugh out loud - I am so funny sometimes.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Canary in a Bong Room

Well, so the new news around my normally mundane existence as a housewife is that I performed backup vocals on Saturday night for the band known as Bong Hits for Jesus. I must say the songwriting is good stuff - they have just enough hook in the songs and good fun melodies mostly in their original stuff - and the covers they do are pretty good too. It's refreshing to hear a male vocalist in a local band that can actually sing! Bass lines are fun and definately not boring, although there were a few glitches during this show, but that is totalyl excusable considering he was not only sick but about to travel to Bankok in less than 5 hours after the show.

I had a good time, a couple of friends showed up for me and that made me very happy. I was afraid I'd be sitting there by myself with my red bull and vodka. I had never been to O'Malley's before in South Jersey, but the bar was pretty nice and the food was good. Some dude bought my dinner lol and then him and his friend left after they found out I was married. C'est la vie! I told him he didn't have to buy it for me just cuz I was with the band (yeah for like 2 songs) but he told me just to say "thank you" and to shutup about it

Anyway, the set went very well. I always saw myself as lead singer in a band, but none of the bands I ever joined with ever played anything live - which is totally all I really like to do. But I must admit, even though it was only backup vocals for 2 songs, I still got strangers approaching me to shower me with compliments and the band was appreciative and I was happy just to have finally been on stage performing to a crowd with a real band - not just singing at shitty karaoke bars with drunk tone-def miscreants. The only bad thing I can say about being a backup singer besides obvious ego issues is that you don't necessarily get Unless you count a free drink!

Picture: O'Malley's - superfast bartender that just wouldn't take my drink order all fucking night.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Celebrity Look-alikes....I guess.

Too much sugar, not enough breasts.

I was talking to my friend, Blair on AIM.
I told her what her "grossly oversimplified" sexual preference horoscope was out of this month's Playboy magazine was. Then I told her what mine was:

Cancer: She's all about her breasts; neglect them at your peril.

So true.

But then she had to go take a bath. So I waited a minute and wrote her a dummy message so I could see what she put as her away messages. My shower message is fun, angry gnome's is funny, so I thought I'd find out how Blair lets the world know she is in the water closet.

me: muhaha

Auto response from blair: sugar water shower.

me: I just wanted to see what your away message said
me: and I find it amusing that even something clean and pure like a shower which is made from clean and pure water has been turned into another one of your sweet treats (cupcakes, cookies, that smelly lotion of yours, etc). you crazy, muffin.
me: just talking to you makes me want a glass of milk
me: lol

And there you have it.

In other news today, I am going to Texas on Tuesday with Marilyn to see my family.
Should be fun once we are there. I don't know about the actual flight.
We'll see. Hopefully she will just sleep.
Yeah right.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

A Freudian Walk in the Woods

1. You are not alone. You are walking in the woods. With who?
My ex boyfriend.

2. You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal is it?
a skunk

3. What interaction takes place between you and the animal?
it walks near a leafy bush, brushing up against the leaves as I see it, I look at it and it ignores me, I take a step in a parallel direction from its path, it raises its tail slightly but it sees I mean no harm it keeps walking. I muse to myself, "hmmph" in a "Heh, how about that?" sort of way.

4. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your dream house. Describe it.
It is symmetrical in design with two larger parts on the outer sides of the house. The entrance is in the middle, the roof is pitched up in the style of a pagoda with blueish green rounded overlapping tiles. The outside of the house is made of grey and brown stone in various shapes and sizes. There are gardens with beautiful short red Japanese maples and other flowering trees along with Koi ponds and a vegetable garden in the back. There are windows on the front of the house, but the larger ones are in the back and they are more numerous for the sake of privacy. The front door has glass shaped in the diamond pattern that is cut so it shines and glimmers as you pass by, yet you can't really see in. The overall design of the interior is very much like a spanish hacienda where there is a courtyard in the center of the house and the other rooms surround, most of the bedrooms are on the second floor with balconies overlooking the courtyard.

5. Is your dream house surrounded by a fence?

6.You enter the house. You walk into the dining room and see a table. What do you see on AND around it?
Two tapered candles, a bowl of fresh fruit are on the table. There are colorful framed pieces of artwork on the walls, red curtains, and a fish tank in the corner. There is an antique buffet meant to hold and prepare the liquor and another table by the window with a white pitcher for decoration or for water.

7. You exit the house a cup is on the ground, what kind is it?

8.What do you do with the cup?
pick it up and throw it away because I hate styrofoam laying on the ground - it lasts forever and dever biodegrades

9.You walk to the edge of the property where you find yourself standing at the edge of a body of water.
what kind of body of water is it?
a large and deep mountain lake

10. How will you cross the water?
in a canoe with my feet dangling in the water

(If you want to do this test too, don't read the answers below until you've answered the above questions on your own first).

1. The person who you are walking in the woods with is one of the most important people in your life.

2. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems in your life.

3. The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems.

4.The size of your dream home is representative of the size of your ambition to solve your problems.

5. A lack of a fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a close personality. You'd prefer people not drop by unannounced.

6. If your answer did NOT include food, flowers, or people, then you are generally unhappy.

7. The durability of the material with the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship.

8. Your disposition of the cup is representative of your attitude toward person in #1.

9. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your sexual desire.

10. How wet you get in crossing the water is indicative of the relative importance of your sex life.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Answer to Everything? He May Have Something There....

(Dakez @ Feb. 24 2007,19:49)
i think humanity has been going downhill since we learned to communicate ideas that went beyond basic daily survival.

LOL I love you Shawn.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

I'm So Tired

I think Marilyn is teething.
She wakes up earlier than she used to.
She bites her fingers a lot.
She chews on everything.
She has a runny nose, but you know we just got back from a semi-fun weekend skiing up in the mountains with my husband's family. The skiing was really fun. I love being with my husband. But the in-laws, well, I love the brothers and sisters to death but damn are they a loud bunch. And most of them were sick - yay fun.
So now I'm not feeling perfect - got some drainage down the back of my sinus into my throat.
I think poor baby is getting sick and me not too far behind.
I just took some medicine for night time.
I don't have really horrible symptoms but if I could stop the running it will prevent a sore sinus.
Sigh. In-laws.

Monday, February 12, 2007

My Grandmother is a Clever, Evil Bitch

Hahaha - well that's basically what she is saying by passing this email along to me....

> A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

God works in Mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars, there's nothing left of them, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle, and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."

Women are clever, evil bitches.
Don't mess with them.

But I don't think she is an evil bitch at all.
As a matter of fact, she's the coolest lady I know!
She's magical! She has a vial of fairy dust, to be sure!
She sprinkles it on the youngest family members who can walk and talk and tells them it's only for special occasions.
Oh how I love her. She's so charming and so funny.
We all call her Nanny.

She tells us every now and then about some cute young man she's seen at a computer class.
She is writing her own memoirs.
She introduced me to The Last Unicorn movie when I was young.
She used to collect crystals.
She always has a smile on her face and the only wrinkles she has are crows feet from all that smiling.
Her laugh is infectious - it is explosive and genuine.
Her eyes get big and round when she is tossing caution or advice at you, but then a smile usually stretches across her face shortly afterward because she is unable to be serious for very long - at least not since her own kids have grown up. Even if she disapproved of something you did, she shows how much love, support and caring she has in her heart and she is rarely judgemental.
Sometimes I like to have a cup of coffee with her or a good stout alcoholic beverage!
She won't drink a wine cooler, she likes a bloody mary, a snifter of liqueur or just a hard liquor and coke.
She doesn't care about counting calories, if she wants a piece of cheesecake or apple pie, gosh darnit, she's gonna have one!
She totally rocks and she knows it!

I don't know what happened to my mom though.
Mom doesn't drink much other than white zinfandel or a wine cooler.
Sure, I mean she'll have a rum and coke from time to time, but usually after any alcohol she gets all sleepy and poops out.
Mom doesn't worry about magic, she just works and works or watches CSI, Law & Order or Survivor.
She loves to work.
She loves to complain about work too, but she sure is a hard worker.
Mom is passive-agressive.
If someone pisses her off, she will get back at them some untraceable or sneaky way, like "accidentally" holding something up so someone's deadline is missed or turning off the coffee pot so that the coffee gets cold. She usually has a back up excuse like "well, I didn't want to have the place burn down."
I am more like Nanny than my mom.
Don't get my wrong, mom does have one trait - one that I picked up actually - that is more aggressive than passive....she looooves to start shit. If mom believes in something or if she feels wronged in some way that has a systematic way of correcting (or inflicting inconvenience or penalty on the wronger) she will go out of her way to do it.
This meaning things like complaining to the Better Business Bureau, calling the wronger company every day until desired results are accomplished or going to whatever authority gives her some sort of satisfaction or compensation.
I do this to the extreme.
It is a very well-known fact that I will send back any plate of food if it is not to my order, has a hair in it, is cold, whatever. (I also take precautions to just get money back as I do not wish to eat a spit-burger).
I will call a bank up and demand refunds for fees on stupid things.
I usually get them.
I keep all of my receipts and I will return an item if it sucks.
But I digress.
At least I learned the importance of balancing a checkbook from my mom.

But my Nanny is more laid back and carefree than my mom.
She loves her two cats, Friday and Valentine.
Nanny wanted to be an actress. So did I, except I realized I was horrible at it and that I made a much better singer. Nanny didn't become one because her mother forbade it - said it was a stupid profession, not very respectable and was no way to live.
Soooo....I'm thinking that maybe this crazy, carefree, fun-loving quirky personality skips every other generation in my family. I guess my daughter will be practical and hard-working, more like her father than me. We'll see. I gotta get my magic fairy dust ready once she figures out what a fairy is.