Friday, November 28, 2008

Thanks for Nothing!

Well Happy Thanksgiving, internet!

I had a wonderful day at the in-laws house, all 23 of us.
Lots of kids, lots of food, and of course, lots of pie.
I made a delicious cherry pie and a pumpkin pie.

There was of course fierce competition of baked goods between my brother-in-law's wife and I (I don't know if she knew about it or not, but I so wanted to be the better baker).

I told my husband before hand it was totally a competition and he said he "knew it" and that was why he'd said "I can't wait to eat your pie" LOL

[will post picture here later] cherry pie was demolished, although my daughter and I ate a quarter of it by ourselves. The sister-in-law made a pumpkin pie from scratch and I do mean cooking a squash and scraping it out, but seriously folks, it's not THAT much harder to make, it's just a matter of letting the oven bake one for an hour or so AND she put too much ginger. My husband tasted it and said it tasted like lemon rinds....either way, that means a bitter taste. (She wasn't in the room at the time). She also made a pumpkin roll with some kind of cream cheese I guess rolled up in it - it was alright, a bit too sweet for me though.

All I know is I like my baking better and I really did want to enjoy her desserts too, after all good competition makes one better, but alas, it was ok. Unfortunately everyone else there thought we were equally talented and complimented us both...I know that should be fine, but considering that I didn't like hers just means that the family is either too nice or lacks discriminating tastebuds.

Oh well.

By the way...that Dr. Pepper site was all fuckered up last Sunday and so I'm not sure I will be getting my free Pepper coupon. THANKS FOR NOTHING, DR!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

I want to win, oh how I want to win things

I entered this contest to win an Ergo baby carrier.
I've already entered one for the same carrier with the local Breastfeeding Resource group around here, but I didn't win that raffle. Bye bye $5 dollars.

But here I go again, only it doesn't cost much, just my email address.

And here's the link for anyone else interested:
Win an organic Ergo baby carrier

So your little squirt can go for a ride and stop screaming at your ankles.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Guns N' Dr. Pepper

Hot Damn!
Thanks Axl for some free Dr. Pepper.

Associated Press: Dr Pepper to deliver on its free-soda promise

5 hours ago

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Dr Pepper is making good on its promise of free soda now that the release of Guns N' Roses' "Chinese Democracy" is a reality. The soft-drink maker said in March that it would give a free soda to everyone in America if the album dropped in 2008. "Chinese Democracy," infamously delayed since recording began in 1994, goes on sale Sunday.

"We never thought this day would come," Tony Jacobs, Dr Pepper's vice president of marketing, said in a statement. "But now that it's here, all we can say is: The Dr Pepper's on us."

Beginning Sunday at 12:01 a.m., coupons for a free 20-ounce soda will be available for 24 hours on Dr Pepper's Web site. They'll be honored until Feb. 28.

Dr Pepper is owned by Dr Pepper Snapple Group, Inc.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Writer's Block

You know it's one thing to have writer's block and not know what to write about. But then when you find something to write about and you feel like maybe you should have SOME limits on what you write that it kind of makes you wonder why bother writing in the first place.

I figure I'm a good writer.
Unfortunately, if there's nothing really substantial to write about you end up not writing much of anything and then when you write something like that it's like wiping off a spoon with refried beans on it on a tortilla and calling it a burrito. That actually happened to me once long long ago when I used to eat Taco Bell. I swear that's what it looked like. I told them this is not a burrito. This looks like you wiped the spoon off on it. I wanted to say it looks like you wiped your ass with it. But you know, if you talk shit like that to jerks in a fast food joint, they might just do that.

Anyway...I'm am really pissed.
I'm agitated.
I'm irritated.
I'm annoyed.
I want to punch things and yesterday I was having anxiety attacks for no reason.
Then I got high late at night.
I relaxed finally after getting over the anxiety that I was "doing it wrong." And by it I mean just being high. I'm such a loser I can't even enjoy a drug if I finally do one after months of saying it's not for me. I'm such a flip flopper on that subject. Most days I'm against it. Then one day I'll just say "fuck it, why not?"

I should have written a novel by now.
A psychological thriller.
I even remember the dream I had 5 years ago that inspired it.
But have I written it?
Know why?
My heroine should be loosely based on me - easy to write about yourself, no?
I came up with some tangent scenario to start the book with - a portrait of her every day morning, but I hated it. She had calla lilies by her bed. Who the fuck has a vase full of calla lilies? By their bed?

I don't know. I wanted this book to represent this time period.
You know, not just throwing icons in there like ipods or google, but I mean about the way people behave, social stigmas, liberal youth, the attitude we have toward each other either in person or online with strangers. I want to put my opinion down on paper (or in doc or txt) that says "People behave this way now and unlike the past, they do it for no good reason because there just isn't one." Generation X? Nope. A little later than that. I don't want to talk about the emo or hipster movement, or non-movement, because really they just take up space, get wasted, take pics of themselves, and live for the next day just so they can review all those pictures....or at least that's what some internet article said and I thought it to be true enough.

Anyway....I am being distracted by a picture of an MRI machine for cats, and now I have no idea what else to write. I'm just bitching anyway.


Monday, November 17, 2008

Honey Head

This is pretty much how I feel about football this year.
All I gotta say is COOL.

What year is it again?

After spending WAY too much detailed time in the past, I have totally disoriented myself and now that I'm back in reality, I have curbed my enthusiasm by tying up some loose ends.

What was once carelessly thrown out in the open, is now carefully out in the open.
In other words....I have an alias.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, good.
If you do, you can ask me about it and I'll lead you in the right direction.
That is, if you haven't figured it out on your own.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

I am SO done with the Chinese

Ok, I've had it!
Toys with toxic paint, milk powder tainted with melamine, unethical and dangerous computer "recycling" centers that dump toxic chemicals into water and burn into the air where children live and play.....what next?

Well, I'll tell you what next!
I. Get. Sick!

I can't say exactly what caused my horrible day yesterday....but I'm willing to bet it was the Chinese food from Wednesday night. Usually they are good at that place.
But what else could it have been? Surely not the turkey samich I ate for lunch on Wednesday. I was sick Thursday morning...I had nausea and an irritable bowel. Later in the day I totally puked my guts out - so forceful was it that I peed my pants in the process and there was nothing I could do about it but feel utterly pathetic and to continue vomiting and peeing in my pants until the session was over. It's not like I could stop throwing up to sit on the toilet and tinkle out whatever was left. Horrible.

All day I felt nauseated and then I had diarrhea get worse and worse until late in the evening and by then my butthole would sting each time I went. Sorry this is so graphic but it felt worse than any words could describe. I was achy all day, pain in my back, my spine, all my muscles and joints, and a headache by evening. I had no fever as far as I know. I couldn't stand up too long without being dizzy and I dozed off and on all day. Thank goodness my dad was able to come over and watch the kids for me so I could be left alone to doze in my room. I don't know what I would have done without him. I would have to have called my husband home.

I am so glad that I am feeling a bit better today.
I still feel a bit weak and delicate - and my appetite is much to be desired but at least I don't feel like I'm going to puke any moment and nothing is coming out of my butt.

So that's it.
I'm boycotting China.
I love the silks and stuff, but you know what?
I always did like Japanese culture better. Language, products, people, samurai, I mean come on. Pearl Harbor, well that was pretty shitty, but I guess after Hiroshima nobody really wants that kind of warring relationship anyway. I mean they invented karaoke! Awesome! They can be a bit strange (stress balls that look like boobs in street vending machines for example) but at least they don't fuck everything up any time they get a good thing going *cough* CHINA *cough* - Chinese history is so disappointing.


Thank you, that is all.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Red, White & Chocolate

So last night I had my big mom's night out party at my house with the them of Wine & Chocolate tasting. Hence the Red & White Wine & Chocolate. (I thought it was clever because the chocolate could be white too)


So my husband is there too watching the kids.
Never again. The cackling of the moms kept the kids up. The baby finally passed out with me nursing him to sleep and I let the toddler go downstairs to the basement and watch movies until she finally passed out at midnight.

My husband was welcome to partake of the wine and chocolate.
I wasn't expecting him to sit down and join in deep conversations, however.
Unfortunately, one of the moms said something snotty to him and he took great offense to it (of course while I was in the bathroom and I didn't hear it) and so he keeps making ugly faces at me so I pull him aside and ask what the hell his problem is. Then he tells me he doesn't ever want to see her face again and that she isn't welcome in his house and that he hates her. I'm like WTF YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE EVEN BEEN IN THERE!!!! So now I'm stuck with being pissed that he has interfered with MOM'S night AND upset that I have to respect that someone just insulted my husband but keep it a secret since they were leaving soon anyway. Ugh. What a fucking disaster. I was buzzing but it wasn't the best night that I had hoped for. I have so much chocolate I don't know what to do with it all.

I gave some away today. I took a cake to my mother-in-law who was glad to see it and me along with my other brother and sister-in law. This is because they have been caring for the grandmother who needs assistance with things like getting dressed and going to the bathroom. It is a temporary situation, but nevertheless they looked pretty ragged when I walked in. Good thing chocolate is supposed to help with mood.

Alas, there were no pictures from last night.
I hate hosting parties when I have to worry about the kids.

I made a beautiful Strawberry Chocolate Gateau, but you know what?
It was a little on the dry side and I would rather go away to someone else's house next time.

Monday, November 10, 2008


The kids are so gross this week.
Snot, boogers, clear, green, coughing, sneezing, wiping, smearing, drooling, dripping, but never blowing into a tissue nice and neat.

I'm glad there are no runny noses in World of Warcraft.
I would have to quit.

I'm eating coffee ice cream now and it's almost 1pm this Monday.
It's not too early for ice cream.
Technically since it's coffee flavored, I could have it for breakfast if I really wanted to.

I got on craigslist this weekend in search of a band seeking a singer.
I think I have the singer bug again.
It would be nice to find some other creative soul who I could create some original work with....but on the other hand it wouldn't kill me to sing in an already established cover band making some extra cash doing something I like in random neighborhood bars.

I'm not trying to be a superstar (anymore haha) but I still like being on a stage in front of a bunch of people. Singing in front of too few is kind of weird though. Go figure.

Guess I better check my email to see if anyone responded to my emails.

Friday, November 07, 2008

I Finally Feel Like I Belong in This Country

Obama has overwhelmingly won this election and I couldn't be more emotional about ti. I am so happy I cried when I listened to his speech.

And....Wow, you know I am in awe of just how many of us thought we were the minority. This feeling of belonging to this country for the first time has been mentioned to me more than once by various people. That we are not surrounded by the religion and guns. I am elated that the majority of this country wants to give hope a chance. Thank God for this revelation - and I'm an atheist.




Sorry about today (the 6th).
I played WoW all day after I got back from lunch with my dad and the kids at an Austrian restaurant.
I had Wiener Schnitzel. Awwww yeah.

Ham & Barley Soup is actually delicious.
Who knew?

I just saw my last blog and now I'm horny.
God damnit and it's almost 2am in the morning, everyone is asleep and I'm on the last day of my period.
WHAT EVER!!!!!!!

Good night.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Ladies Love Obama are not alone. I too think Obama can be a sexy mofo. I have read some blogs lately and random articles and the ladies just love them some Obama.

I also think Jon Stewart is an even sexier mofo. But when the two of them talk together on the Daily Show, they kind of cancel each other's sexiness out. Then all I can do is actually listen to the meat of their subject matter. However, if they were to add Christian Bale in a nice "Bruce Wayne" suit and our great leader, Stephen Colbert looking stern and cocky, I would simply have to melt to the floor in a puddle of orgasm. Just so you know...

So ladies, this blog is for you.

And here is your moment of Zen....

(this took me all day to hunt down the hottest pix and splice them together. You betta enjoy)

My Super Heroes

MY HEROES!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I made this. I are teh talented.
I have no idea who painted the original artwork though so technically I just stole some photos from google search and put them all together for comparison. Boy was that not an interesting anecdote.

"YES WE CAN!!" That is, if you can hear the speech....

AIM conversation - names changed to protect identity lol

me: hi
friend: hey
me: yes we can!
friend: WOOOHOOOO!!!!!!!
me: I'm so pissed though
friend: why?
me: Al has his friend here who voted McCain
friend: ew
friend: gross
friend: tell him its time to go home
me: and he's all drunk and TOTALLY RUINED me listening to the speech Obama gave
friend: see?
friend: immaturity
me: I'm still mad about it because I wanted to listen and be all emotional and feel the hope for our nation but NO
friend: im sorry
me: I have to hear nasty comments about a black guy being pres over a catholic guy like WTF who cares if someone is fucking Catholic
me: and he is STIL LHERE
me: I just did tell him to go home
friend: i watched his speech at the campaign office next door to where i live
me: I'm like - why the hell is he still pouring himself drinks
friend: tell him to go to war then
friend: haha
me: I asked him - is that another alcoholic bevereage?
me: and he's like hell yeah
friend: gross
me: and I'm like well, I want to go to bed
friend: sounds like a real winner
me: and he's like "so go to bed"
me: WTF!

me: it's my house!
friend: disrespectful
friend: kick his ass the fuck outta here
me: I said I also wanted to not have company anymore and have the house to myself - it's a work night, babies get up during the night and early in the morning
me: not to mention I wanted to enjoy the victory with Al and not be all weird and polite about it with a McCain supporter in my house
me: I'm so fucking mad
me: this is such an important night and my experience of it was ruined
me: and Al never kicks him out
friend: tomorrow is another day
me: Todd never fucking leaves - he stays and stays
friend: well make him kick him out
friend: oh its todd
friend: haha
friend: that real tall guy?
me: he's stayed over night sometimes and still stayed all day and until the next evening
me: yes
me: it's him
me: he does this
friend: ask him if he's ever felt that he's worn out his welcome
me: when Al said he was coming over with him after he voted I was not happy about it
me: I knew it was a bad idea
friend: ugh
friend: im sorry dude
friend: that blows
me: and it was
me: Al is gonna get it from me
me: he doesn't ever kick him out until it just gets really bad
me: so I did it today
me: he's still drinking up there but I had to leave the room
me: I try so hard to be a good host and not be a bitch but damn
me: sorry I'm ranting to you
friend: its ok
friend: its your house and you have babies
me: it's like having Rush Limbaugh talking during your wedding vows
friend: HAHAHA
friend: damn

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Fucking Cookies

Yes, I decorated this cookie at a party.
Yes, I am a naughty girl.
Yes, I know I don't look like one.


The cookies weren't the only thing to get violated.
I got the fruit too.

Memoirs of a Waitress - Chapter 1

So I was inspired by this Cat to write some memoirs of my old days as a waitress.
Boy do I have some stories. And since I haven't anything exciting to write about currently other than the election (yawn - let's just vote already), I will talk about my restaurant adventures instead.

My first actual waitressing job was at a place called Nuevo Leon in Dallas. It was a MexMex place - meaning they only served Mexican food from the two distinct regions of Mexico and not "Tex Mex" which was a more Americanized form of Mexican food. The two regions were basically dry and wet - in other words, the cuisine from the dry region consisted of beans, maize, rice, and other hearty ingredients available in dryer climates and the cuisine from the wet region consisted of vegetables, a larger variety of peppers, and other ingredients that were more available in a fertile landscape. It was all very interesting and all, but I was just a young white waitress in the land of many tequilas. I did okay there, but the reality of it all was that I was just trying to make a little cash and get in the pants of two of my hot latin co-workers.

One such person was a bus boy. He was a thick, stocky, strong young man with pretty light brown smallish eyes and a more modern version of a buzz cut. He had a strong square jaw line and a mouse-like look to him, even though he was so sturdy. He was nice, very down to earth, easy-going but was very calm and laid back. He was more intense when he focused on me, and was quiet in a powerful kind of way - one of those, you don't have to say much to command some very desirable presence in the room. He was not the most gorgeous guy I ever met, but there was something about him as they say. A mystery, a quiet intensity and confidence in his manhood that made him attractive to me anyway.

The other interest was one of the waiters. His position as waiter made him socially of a higher status than say, bus boy, and he was cocky and also exuded a kind of confident self worth that is in it's own right attractive to the female species. He was slender and a bit taller than the bus boy, more feminine facial structure with high cheek bones, dark eyes and very dark wavy hair which he kept slicked back. He even wore thin wire-framed glasses sometimes. He was a slippery snake that one, but oh he was still handsome. He was like a smooth-talking vampire with a very nice smile and beautiful, hypnotic serpentine eyes.

So which one did I end up with? (Because back in my younger days, I always ended up with someone as you will see in my future memoirs.)

They were both polar opposites. They both appealed to what I believe is my split personality syndrome. So I went after both of them. And I got both of them.
And what did I discover? The more humble bus boy and I had a very intense and passionate evening at his place once dark and rainy night. He played Depeche Mode's "Violator" for me on cassette tape and made much use of his twin day bed. And the floor. The next morning, he took pictures of me with my camera, standing outside in my sort of "goth" outfit - which was really just a short black crop tie shirt and some dorky black pants that I used to wait tables in. Nevertheless, it was a great time. What I can remember most was that his strong back ignited a very strong primal desire in me - I guess we still have our old cavemen intuitions for survival of the fittest. His earthy, well-endowed pleasuring device didn't hurt either. Mmm...memories.

I still have those pics actually.

Uh...yeah, so anyway....

Some time later, I did end up going home with the conceited waiter. I can't even remember how our evening went up until the point we were in his living room. We made out and all of that, but he was so overly excited and gung-ho to get to the good stuff that it was a disaster. He had to go get a condom of course, but his package was a disappointing length so even though he did manage to get it in for a minute, I imagine that I would have had a better time with a baby pacifier. Not only that but the guy took forever in the bathroom trying to get it back on after it was slipping off (don't know why he had to go in there to fiddle with it, but whatever). His whole demeanor was that of a kid trying to get all the candy out of the trick or treat bag before any other kids got it all, so that was a big turnoff too. Unfortunately for that guy, I said forget it and I left. Poor guy. I try to be gentle with men's egos in that respect, but seriously it was that bad.

So the winner goes to the humble bus boy and his glorious strong back and gentle nature. I believe the appropriate presidential quote for this story (it is election day after all) is "Walk softly and carry a big stick." (Teddy Roosevelt)

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Phillies Parade vs. Halloween

I ended up putting my son(who is 9 months) in his sisters's old Lion costume, but he was super cute anyway.
My daughter just wore a green turtleneck shirt and some brown camo pants and I put some eyeliner dots on her cheeks and called her a turtle. She wouldn't let me put anything on her back, her head or any kind of skirt, so I gave up and just went with that. We were late for trick or treating so didn't get to do too much. I made the bad decision to take the kids downtown to meet my mom and sister so we could go from 30th street station all the way to the sports complex to watch the parade on a tv from the Lincoln Financial field box seats that my mom's boss had. I thought it was going to be fun but it turned out to be more trouble than it was worth. Packed tight on subway, took forever to get there, didn't even see the actual parade because we waited all day in a box seat (which was nice, I mean they had free hot dogs and pretzels, but still) and when they finally showed up at 3:00 pm, we were all tired and they only came in there and waved for about 10 minutes and went to the real show over at the ballpark (where I wish I was). Nobody wanted to stay and watch that on the tv so I was sore about that too. All that time and didn't even see the real show. Oh well. Then it was a nightmare trying to get back to the car at 30th street. The subway was so packed up there was a crowd of people waiting just to get inside and go down to the platform. So we took the shuttle to Market and 2nd and took the subway from there instead. Al was at work so he met us at the station so we could all just drive home from there. We didn't get there until after 5pm and we didn't get home until about 7pm. By then, trick or treating was half over and my sister was being a butt and wanted to go home immediately so Al took them to my mom's car and I tried to come up with something for them to wear. I don't know why I insisted they go, I mean we were all tired, and I had a headache. But I took some Advil and got them ready and when Al got back we all went trick or treating for a little bit. Poor kids didn't even have dinner. I gave them some banana before we went out at least. They konked out real fast.

Baby still got up a few times in the night. Sigh.

And that was my day yesterday.
Next time - no parade shenanigans. Stay home and make cupcakes instead.