Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Every:One @ Soma Memoirs

Batman Revealed

God, I love Batman....

It's not necessarily the actors in the movies and I've never even read the comics, but I just love the idea of Batman.I could even go so far as to say that the idea of Batman even turns me on. Although, casting Christian Bale (one of my most favorite actors to lust after) as my favorite all-time character ever created was a recipe for winning my affections, or if you want to get raunchy about it, causing me to cream my pants.

A funny thing though - I can not imagine that if I were face to face with a Batman, I would not be inclined to have any sexual relations with him despite my swooning and desire to be close. He is altogether untouchable and unattainable and this could possibly be one of the reasons I adore him so much. He is what I can never have and my god is that sexy.

Another aspect of this self-analysis is that I sometimes feel that I don't necessarily want to be WITH him, but sometimes I want to BE him. I feel as if I could be that dark, brooding, do-gooder. I would want the money, the intelligence, and to be constantly in that state of preliminary romance and desire that lead up to a lust-filled, sultry, dangerous and nerve-wracking first kiss. That feeling of suspended desire that you can only get from that first mutual tender moment between two people who desire each other and are just now realizing it, moments before their flesh is allowed to alight on fire and fuse together with a touch, a kiss, an embrace, exploring the new, eager body of the other. This Batman never seems to have a lasting relationship and is continuously thrown into dark, nocturnal encounters of this sort.

The other factor is his alter-ego's wish to have a lasting relationship.It seems, I used to be this Batman-type nocturnal creature, working my feminine magic on new encounters but my Bruce Wayne has finally won me over and I wish to have a lasting relationship. To have love, to have a family and a future.But I will never forget the feeling I got when I thought of myself as a sultry vixen, a woman not to be reckoned with, a woman whom many found irresistable....I felt dark and powerful - I felt excited and alive with each first suspended moment before each new encounter - only temporarily satisfied after each conquest was completed - the thrill of the hunt - the neverending chase for that "fix" of ensnaring the desires of another. It wasn't necessarily the outcome I craved, but that moment that another human being decided to want me. I was never satisfied.

Eventually, I stopped feeling powerful from these encounters and I felt more like a victim than a vixen. I began to discover, or percieve, that the attentions I received were not of a person wanting me as a whole, but only wanting me as an unemotional, organic receptacle. I was not beloved, I was used. As used as those that I had ignorantly used for quite another reason altogether in the past. I had realized my just desserts. My own thinking destroyed my alter-ego. I had been living a fantasy designed to crumble in upon itself.

I am not really a vixen on the inside.
I am a lover, a feeler, a sympathetic soul designed to latch on to one person and devote all of my love and attention to.

I am not an independent rogue seeking conquests and gain. I am a needy partner seeking companionship and honesty.

I am not a badass. I am a comedian.

I am not chained to my woes. I am a free spirit flying like a butterfly from whim to whim.

I am not a flawless image of perfection. I'm a moody, happy, crabby, silly, bitchy, giving and selfish person....I'm a human and I make absolutely no sense to anyone but I make perfect sense to myself. Sometimes.

So yeah. Batman is the shit. Unless you anaylze his history.
I'd have to say that in my opinion, one's Glory Days aren't really very glorious if you think about it.

Bitches and Hoes - July 8, 2006

I am going to go on a rant tangent here and it's all thanks to seeing a rap video on someone's myspace profile.....

I swear, I will never understand the popular rap industry's ideals for visuals which include, but are not limited to, "bitches and hoes" shaking their body parts in barely-there attire. I hate to call them clothes because they really aren't more than stitched rags covering breasts and crevices.I've seen the way the hawkers stand on the street, South Street for example, and ogle the girls that walk by. The girls love it too for some reason. That's how they get their attention. I personally hate it and find it disgusting.

Sometimes I just want to tell these girls...."Hey, why don't you just go out on the street butt-naked and line up in a row bent over with your asses out in the air so the guys can just stroll by and pick out which pussy he wants to stick his dick in. That's practically what's going on. Why bother wearing "clothes"? There isn't much there anyway.

The videos with the bling bling and the jacked up cars with hydraulics bouncing around too are just as irritating....CARS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BOUNCE, YOU IDIOTS.BUY A FUCKING TRAMPOLINE IF YOU WANNA BOUNCE.It's one thing to have a diamond necklace or a ring or whatever, but the designs these rappers are choosing to put these diomonds in are just plain tacky. Why don't we just make a diamond studded grub-worm, or a giant diamond happy face, or a giant diamond pendant in the shape of the phrase "I HAVE LOTS OF MONEY AND YOU DON'T I AM SO COOL LOOK AT ME WASTE MONEY INSTEAD OF INVESTING SOME SO I CAN HAVE A FUTURE."

But the view of women in this culture is a problem because not all black women act or dress like strippers and many are very respectable and I have heard quite a few express the same opinion on the matter. It's just a shame that there isn't more "black" entertainment out there representing a less derogatory portayal of black women or on civilized lifestyles. You just can't convince me that every black American lives a life of gun-toting, drug-selling, and general stupid machismo.Growing up in Dallas, I was surrounded mostly by the hispanic community, the black community coming in a close second, so nobody better dispute my credibility regarding having a little knowledge about these cultures. My junior high school was predominantly black (about 90œ the hispanic population about 5Àfollowed by white and "other," meaning that I was one of 9 white kids in a school of 1500 along with 2 Indians, and 3 Asians. Believe me, I remember that. I also remember learning how to do the "tootsie roll" and the "butterfly" dances during "get out of class free by paying to go to a school dance in the middle of the day because the neighborhood is too dangerous for kids to have dances at night dance." I was down with O.P.P.

At any rate, sure I'm aware of the difficulties that a large number of blacks in the nation have because they are among the poorer communities and that crime is inevitable in poor communities - it is unfortunate....but if you look at the poor latino and white communities, you may notice that the latinos are very much like the blacks in regards to the women - bitches and hoes and tricks - and the whites treat the women with more respect - although I can vouch that there are quite a few trailer trash hoes out there - but they are still treated with more respect than the other races (aside from actual strippers - they don't get respect from much of anyone regardless of their personalities or backgrounds because their profession is an overwhelming derogatory symbol). Asian women don't take shit from nobody so I don't even have to go there....

What I'm getting at is that this belittling of women phenomenon is not necessary, but it is there....where did it come from? Why is it getting worse?Why is it so mainstream? The number one demographic that buys this crap is middle-class white men somewhere between the ages of 13 to 30. Hello? Does this make any sense to anyone else? Do you think they would buy it if it was a white rapper with white chicks dancing around like sluts? Is this a racial thing? What's the deal, where are all those talented black artists who have intelligent rap songs that I know are out there? I'll tell you where....they are underground, just like the good rock, jazz, blues, and every other decent musician is. The reason? Corporate pigs with the marketing bulldogs spend their money on what the middle class white kids are spending their parents' hard earned money know, utter crap. I'm sorry J-Lo, but your music sucks. I 'm sorry to all you rappers out there trying to sing ballads, but you are all off key and it doesn't sound good to me to hear a gravelly-voiced tone def mother fucker trying to serenade the country. You're no Nat King Cole or Frank Sinatra. The days of quality in the mainstream are over. The nation is suffering from severe mediocrity and that really boils my blood and makes me sad for the new generations....

Make no mistake, I will be trying my best to make some new music that isn't mediocre.....even if it's only played underground.

Humuhumunukunukua pua'a

JUNE 25, 2006

Well, I'm back from my week-long trip to Hawaii!
It was a great time. Even though Al was at the conference for most of it, it was a good time when we got to do things together. The hotel was beautiful. The Rennaissance Ilikai Hotel. The pool over looked the boats docked on the shore and beyond was the ocean. There were palm trees and exotic tropical flowering trees and bushes, hibiscus, and you could smell the fragrant leis made of plumeria hung around the necks of visitors. The drinks were expensive but tasty and nice to look at with the fresh cut of pineapple and cherries. The water in the ocean was bright blue and green and on some days you could see your feet in the course, crushed-coral sand even though you were up to your chest in salt water. Snorkeling in Hanauma Bay was fun, peaceful, exciting, and kind of scary all at the same time. The fish were amazing but the choppiness of the ocean that day made swiming near the giant coral somewhat frightening since it could cut up a person with help from a crashing wave. The state fish is really fun to try to say out loud: Humuhumunukunukua'pua'a.

Fun stuff!

The Food

Here are some of the highlights.

Wailana Coffee House

Well, this has to be the most awesome place to get breakfast anywhere.
First of all, it is a family diner with the most efficient server-staff ever. They were like machines! Most of them were older women of Polynesian/Filipino/Japanese descent, and the service was amazing. There was one lady by the name of Jo who served us that stood out because of her quirky way of giving food nicknames. A few examples: "Would you like some caffeine with your cholesterol?" "How would you like your eggs destroyed?" "I brought some sticky for you," and she puts down the pancake syrup. "Here is a little decor for your table," and she puts down the jars of jams and marmalades. Aside from all that, the food was great. The hashbrowns perfect, the "all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast" might has well have been called "3 Pancake Breakfast." They served fresh pineapple spears and fresh papaya which we devoured immediately. The coffee was perfect, not too strong, not bitter. We ate there almost every morning.

The Chart House

his place was the highlight meal of the year.
The appetizer was a real crab cake with fresh crabmeat served over a pasta with this amazing pink cream sauce I believe was made with guava or soemthing like that. It was great. Then we had oysters on the half shell - also fresh and delicious. Al ordered Garlic-Marinated steak, which came with garlic mashed potatoes and some vegetable medley. One bite of the tender cut of beef made our eyes roll up into our heads with ecstasy from the garlicky goodness. I ordered the Spiny Lobster Tail which was the best tasting lobster tail I have ever had the pleasure of tasting. I too had the garlic mashed potatoes and soy beans with carrots. It was not only fabulous food and never-ending refilling your water service, but we were on the deck just outside the main room with a view of the boats, and the ocean immediately before us with a palm tree right next to our table just outside the railing. The breeze from the ocean cooled our faces and during our meal out of nowhere a fireworks show began exploding just to the left of our already beautiful view, immortalizing the magic evening forever.


This was a Japanese buffet restaraunt which served sushi, rolls, customized stir fry and desserts. It was interesting choosing from all the sushi rolls, including one called "ocean salad" but unfortunately we had to get back to the hotel for a session of the conference and so I had to grab a quick bite of pineapple and a pineapple tart from the dessert line as we headed out the door.


This is one of the local Hawaiian dives that we stopped at while on our excursion around the island in a crappy rental Tracker when we stopped in Wahi'wa to visit my friend Deyja. From what I heard from several people was that the equivalent of Philly's staple Cheesesteak was Hawaii's staple Plate Lunch. The plate lunch was usually two scoops of rice, one scoop of macaroni salad heavy heavy on the mayonnaise, and your choice of BBQ meat. The teriyaki steak (Teri Steak) had a great flavor (sweet and salty), the other meats wre chicken, ribs (cut across the bones so that you had meat surrounding 3 or 4 button-shaped bones rather than cut between the bones so that you have whole rib bones). Or you could have Mahi Mahi or fried shrimp. It was a fusion of Chinese and Polynesian cuisine that had been scaled down to a fattening BBQ type joint basically. I would have to say that I was not really impressed other than that the teri steak's flavor reminded me of how my Filipino step-mother made her steaks at home.

Shrimp Farm

On our way around the island in our crappy Tracker, we saw amazing views of the ocean and the misty mountains, but one of the well-known finds on the road that surrounds the island is the fresh shrimp farm trucks. That's right. Shrimp from a giant trailer. They had a tank full of big shrimps swimming around that they would catch, de-head and boil right there for you. It was amazing. We ate the shrimp with nothing on them and it was the freshest shrimp ever. They didn't even taste fishy, Al said. That was a pleasant stop.

The Dixie Grill

The outer exterior of this place was that of a red barn and they boasted the best crabs and BBQ/southern food around. I had to try it! They had chicken fried stead on the menu and I was filled with nostalgia from Texas. I ordered the BBQ chicken and brisket, Al had the chicken and ribs. They were amazing. Well, the chicken wasn't that great, but the brisket was something I haven't tasted in years since I lived in Texas. They had their own BBQ sauces, 6 different kinds! I liked the Memphis style and the Hawaiian style. I bought two bottles of each. The hush puppies were awesome and they had these yams that were not orange in color, but a pale yellow! They were freakin great too! FYI - Hawaii has purple yams too.....neat!

Well, Al and I had a good time and we took lots of video and pictures.

Hopefully I can get some of those soon - I have to develop mine and get them on a Cd and Al used a digital camera so I might get his first. My dumbass packed my 800 speed film in the bag that I checked on the plane so I'm hoping that the X-Ray didn't ruin the film. *crosses fingers* If so, at least I have my memories. I did plenty of shopping and got some tropical print skirts, keychains, a Hawaiian shirt for my dad and Al bought our friend Lucas a grass skirt and coconut boobs just like he wanted. THAT is a picture I must get up here hahahaah! Aloha and Mahalo to you all - but honestly I'm glad I don't have to hear those words or stupid ukeleilis anymore. The Hawaiian language is so primitive sounding and all the street names all sound the same! I really enjoyed how nice everyone was though. Al and I wondered if perhaps it was just for the tourists, but no! The cab driver was nice, the young guy at the Adidas store in the mall was really cool, the lady on the bus was friendly and they all talked to you and seemed generally interested in where you came from and what you were up to. I imaging they like to get news from the mainland other than CNN. It was very refreshing though, apart from the ukeleli music in the touristy places. The reggae music was great. But when we got home I asked Lucas to tell me to fuck off so I could feel like I was home again. He obliged and I squealed with delight and gave him a hug even though he was wearing those goofy coconuts that we got him.


This was one of my favorite Looney Tunes cartoons ever!!!!!

Housewarming Pics from earlier this year

And now, I finally post the house-warming photos.
What a great time!

Kira, Allison & Jon

Lucas & Phyllis - getin the party started!

Oh yes, I love my custom Jenga game.
I get to put lipstick on Imri!

Party Crew must go home sometime....
Jay, me(hiding), Steph, and Blair....and right after they went out the door I was puking in the bathroom. Doh.

The Jenga game found the morning after.

Bad Dreams

This was a post from earlier this year transferred to this blog:

Last night I had a dream that we took Al's truck, which is primer gray, to Los Angeles. We were going to be guests in a tv show audience. Then we were at a six flags type theme park where we got on a roller coaster - Marilyn was on it too and she cried. I think we were stoned too which was supposed to explain why we kept going on it so many times. Finally when I realized Marilyn was crying, we had to get off and go to the truck. It took a second to figure out where it was, but when we got to it, it was all covered in graffiiti. Apparently the primer gray was too irrisistable a blank canvas for graffiti.

Then I woke up and realized Marilyn was indeed crying because she had woken up.

Secret Lover

It is dark in here.
Dark in this room. Dark outside.
Dark in my head.

There isn't much to see, really, but the wind....
Oh how the wind is teasing me, flirting with me,
oh so dangerously

I stare out the window for a moment
I stop and ignore what dances outside
The wind calls to me, insists on my attention,
The leaves have no choice but to rustle my name
The wind says so, and so it must be
But I pretend to ignore it still

And then it happens.
He comes in my open window
He caresses my face and slides over my shoulder
My arm prickles with delight at his slightest touch
So I look....and he is gone again

You have my attention now
And you have faded away
I listen for your sound
But even the trees do not betray you

At least not for long
I hear them give you away again
But you do not come to my window
I let out a sigh
I knew you would do this to me
I tried to ignore you but..... sly blew me a kiss.......

You can be so gentle, so sensual
Like a lover's breath exploring each curve
Thank you for being such a gentleman tonight
As I sit and type
And trail off to bed with a knowing smile upon my face

(Yes I just wrote that off the top of my head - I know, I'm so good)

Animated Me

Tuesday, August 14, 2007