Thursday, August 16, 2007

Batman Revealed

God, I love Batman....

It's not necessarily the actors in the movies and I've never even read the comics, but I just love the idea of Batman.I could even go so far as to say that the idea of Batman even turns me on. Although, casting Christian Bale (one of my most favorite actors to lust after) as my favorite all-time character ever created was a recipe for winning my affections, or if you want to get raunchy about it, causing me to cream my pants.

A funny thing though - I can not imagine that if I were face to face with a Batman, I would not be inclined to have any sexual relations with him despite my swooning and desire to be close. He is altogether untouchable and unattainable and this could possibly be one of the reasons I adore him so much. He is what I can never have and my god is that sexy.

Another aspect of this self-analysis is that I sometimes feel that I don't necessarily want to be WITH him, but sometimes I want to BE him. I feel as if I could be that dark, brooding, do-gooder. I would want the money, the intelligence, and to be constantly in that state of preliminary romance and desire that lead up to a lust-filled, sultry, dangerous and nerve-wracking first kiss. That feeling of suspended desire that you can only get from that first mutual tender moment between two people who desire each other and are just now realizing it, moments before their flesh is allowed to alight on fire and fuse together with a touch, a kiss, an embrace, exploring the new, eager body of the other. This Batman never seems to have a lasting relationship and is continuously thrown into dark, nocturnal encounters of this sort.

The other factor is his alter-ego's wish to have a lasting relationship.It seems, I used to be this Batman-type nocturnal creature, working my feminine magic on new encounters but my Bruce Wayne has finally won me over and I wish to have a lasting relationship. To have love, to have a family and a future.But I will never forget the feeling I got when I thought of myself as a sultry vixen, a woman not to be reckoned with, a woman whom many found irresistable....I felt dark and powerful - I felt excited and alive with each first suspended moment before each new encounter - only temporarily satisfied after each conquest was completed - the thrill of the hunt - the neverending chase for that "fix" of ensnaring the desires of another. It wasn't necessarily the outcome I craved, but that moment that another human being decided to want me. I was never satisfied.

Eventually, I stopped feeling powerful from these encounters and I felt more like a victim than a vixen. I began to discover, or percieve, that the attentions I received were not of a person wanting me as a whole, but only wanting me as an unemotional, organic receptacle. I was not beloved, I was used. As used as those that I had ignorantly used for quite another reason altogether in the past. I had realized my just desserts. My own thinking destroyed my alter-ego. I had been living a fantasy designed to crumble in upon itself.

I am not really a vixen on the inside.
I am a lover, a feeler, a sympathetic soul designed to latch on to one person and devote all of my love and attention to.

I am not an independent rogue seeking conquests and gain. I am a needy partner seeking companionship and honesty.

I am not a badass. I am a comedian.

I am not chained to my woes. I am a free spirit flying like a butterfly from whim to whim.

I am not a flawless image of perfection. I'm a moody, happy, crabby, silly, bitchy, giving and selfish person....I'm a human and I make absolutely no sense to anyone but I make perfect sense to myself. Sometimes.

So yeah. Batman is the shit. Unless you anaylze his history.
I'd have to say that in my opinion, one's Glory Days aren't really very glorious if you think about it.

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