Tuesday, January 27, 2009

This is Chinese Thinking

I've been all gung-ho Chinese New Year today.
I even put up bright red and gold Chinese new year wall scrolls with blessings in calligraphy on each side of my interior front door.
I read a few blogs about the way things are done, and yes I know that it was actually yesterday, but still....I felt like celebrating too.

One such lucky tradition is to eat well or eat lavishly to start the new year out bountiful so it will also end that way.

So I decided to go out and get some red bell pepper, some chicken legs (cuz they are cheap and payday isn't until Thursday) and some sweet & sour sauce to cook with. I already had fresh pineapple at home as well as a huge back of sushi grade rice. I originally had to go to the store for baby formula and bread and TP for my bunghole, but I added a few other ingredients for my meal.

My husband has class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He gets home late, around 9.
Regardless, I still cook dinner for everyone and just save a plate usually.
SO I figured, yum yum, must make Chinese.

He calls me to ask what's for dinner at one point.
I tell him.
He doesn't like that I paid with a check, thinking it may bounce or something.
I am not worried. I know that it takes them at least two days to submit and process that shit, and that includes both the store AND the bank. Plenty of time before payday, no? Whatever....I am not worried, in my book, he shouldn't be either. And that's all I have to say about that.

Later on after the meal is cooked, the kids are in bed, snug and safe and sleeping soundly, he comes home and proceeds to eat his meal. Before I started blogging just now, I ended up in a tiff.

The rest of this story, I have already told a friend, a fellow mom and blogger that goes by the name of Church Punk Mom. Here is our AIM conversation:

ter1byte: I am back
ajnkjsmom: :-)
ter1byte: AAAnyway
ter1byte: I don't know why I'm in such a bitchy mood but I am
ter1byte: so where was I
ajnkjsmom: pms?
ter1byte: I've read some Amy Tan books before
ter1byte: I'm smack in the middle of my period, maybe it's that
ajnkjsmom: prob.. that's when it hits me
ter1byte: and I was thinking in Chinese....and of course he doesn't know that, buy I know it because I 've read my Amy Tan and I've learned a few things about Chinese etiquette etc
ajnkjsmom: yeah
ter1byte: so he's talking about what he did in class, which is cool, but then he starts stuffing his face again and not saying much of course....but what do I do to continue the conversation?
ter1byte: I say, "You would have failed at a Chinese woman's dinner."
ter1byte: He's like "What?"
ajnkjsmom: lol
ter1byte: I am already making myself laugh
ter1byte: I'm loling for realz over here and I'm sure he's wondering wtf yet again
ter1byte: so anyway
ajnkjsmom: lol
ter1byte: I repeat this nonsense, because that's what it sounds like in retrospect
ter1byte: and he says again, "WTF are you talking about?"
ter1byte: then it gets worse
ter1byte: I try to explain
ajnkjsmom signed on at 9:36:54 PM.
ter1byte: explaining doesn't work with him and I...and the reason is because when I start explaining, it comes out too slow
ter1byte: and then he gets impatient and makes a comment
ter1byte: and that usually pisses me off
ajnkjsmom: lmao
ter1byte: so I start to explain, "Well, if you were at a Chinese woman's dinner, you would be going on and on about how great my cooking is and how this is the most wonderful meal you have ever eaten."
ter1byte: and he doesn't let me finish and he says, "I'm too busy eating."
ajnkjsmom: :0
ter1byte: Which is ALSO a good comeback because that would mean he likes the food....so of course even though it COULD BE a compliment, it makes me mad anyway because I was right in the middle of bitching and you don't compliment someone who is already bitching...
ajnkjsmom: ha!
ter1byte: BUT this is Chinese thinking, that you are supposed to LOVE the cooking and say so....and I didn't get a chance to say that....so now here it looks like I'm some old Chinese woman standing in the kitchen holding a damn spoon, mumbling to herself about a rude dinner guest.
ajnkjsmom: lOL
ajnkjsmom: brb.. kids freaking out.. need to put them to bed.. j's upstairs working :P
ter1byte: Then he says, "You know what...?" as if irritated, and then I ask WHAT WHAT WERE YOU GONNA SAY? And nothing. Just keeps eating. IGNORING ME NOW?!?!? OH HELL NO, IT'S TIME TO PUT SOME LOTION ON MY HANDS TO SOOTHE MY POOR DRY CRACKLY SKIN AND SHUN THE DAMN DISHES AND GO GET ON THE INTERNET TO BITCH SOME MORE. To you, Church Punk Mom. Thanks for listening. BUT he comes down here and starts fiddling with the internet saying it's too slow and this and that and wants to restart the router right in the middle of my conversation with you which ticks me off again and so I write to you where I know he can see what I am typing, "he wants to restart the router right this very minute" and I do so with a loud clack with each. single. keystroke.
ter1byte: Which starts me off on another bitchy tirade, etc etc etc.
ter1byte: So yeah....I think you're right. I'm belated PMSing or something.
ajnkjsmom: LMAO
ter1byte: I think I'm gonna post this on my blog. It's just too crazy not to document this.
ajnkjsmom: definitely ;-)


  1. I am Cornholio!!

    Seriously.. I'm still laughing over here.. I need more vodka...

  2. Crazy? Naw, you just have some "concerns"...

    What he should have said was "Oh. Well, yes, this is excellent what you have cooked. Yes, it is most delicious, thank you."

    THEN he could kept on eating. Men, errr!....


  4. Calm down, Beavis...

  5. I fail at every dinner I eat.