Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Too Sick in the Head To Take a Joke

My grandmother sent me this joke in an email. And yes, it was kind of funny.
But I discovered that my mind is so twisted, I couldn't exactly enjoy the joke for it's simplicity. No. Read the joke and I'll tell you what I mean.

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in?real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says,"Kin ya swallar?"

The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?"

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!"


Hardy har, right?
Well the first thing that came to my mind when he pulled her pants down was, "Oh shit, it's gonna rape her because she can't do anything about it." And of course I was all fucked up about it - you know what a horrible thought - and so the joke wasn't as funny as it could have been. I suppose this is how I think of primal man. Sad, isn't it?


  1. well, then apparently I'm just as sick in the head (I know, I know.. you're shocked).. because I totally thought the SAME thing.

  2. We could get all psycho-socio-political, but let's just say that 'we're not twisted (much), it's just that we women tend to stick together to protect our own' because my first thought was we ought kick the hillbilly's ass!! :):):)

  3. Actually I WASN'T worried about her -- but maybe I'M the sick one for NOT being worried?

  4. That's hilarious - you can blame your survival instinct for that. What kind of sick grandmother do you have that you thought she was sending you a rape joke? And would she make some cookies for me?

  5. Good points, everyone....I guess I don't feel too bad. I am uber-survivalist fo sho. I used to carry a boot knife in my Doc Martins when I would go out alone - especially when I moved to Philly because I wasn't familiar with the place and I didn't know anyone.

    LOL @ Cat - you never cease to amaze me....my grandmother is hilarious. She's a dirty old lady and the last time anyone made anything, I made her some peach cobbler, so if you're looking for sweet treats, you come to me. If you're looking for magic fairy dust, cat paraphernalia, a hearty happy guffaw, or jokes about men and getting old, then you go to her.

  6. Does she happen to have any magical fairy dope? That would be great. Thanks!