Out with the old.....

Maybe the title of this post is a bit tasteless considering the second half of my subject matter, but today we got rid of the xmas tree. It exploded on it's way out and rained down needles everywhere. It was awesome.

Now everything is all cleaned up )well not the kitchen yet) and I'm in the middle of laundry and all that other housework jazz to take a moment on the computer.

So what did I see on the internets today?
A video of course, and that video is a BBC 2008 Celebrity Obituary, pretty much.

R.I.P. Eartha Kitt & Heath Ledger

My Xmas Was Awesome

We got ourselves pretty much everything we wanted.
Wii Fit
Mariokart Wii
Lots of toys for the kids (including a vintage Fisher Price Tudor Little People Dollhouse!)
I got some nail care stuff and smelly good lotion and FUCKING AWESOME NEW COMPUTER CHAIR (Manager's Chair woot) so now when I sit in front of the computer for hours I don't have pains in my back - oh I love it hooray!

I didn't get any jewelry or a massage at a spa, but hey V-day is around the corner so maybe I will get something like that then haha

I'm getting an upgrade for my WoW account so I can have a Blood Elf character lol

I bought myself a Calvin Klein down winter coat that keeps me so warm and it's been years since I've had a decent coat for the cold. Now I don't have to wear 800 layers anymore! YAY! It's super nice! I'll have to take some pics in it. The thing is so cool - it's white with black trimmings, has a down hood, it's water resistant, has thumb gloves in the sleeves all sewn in so that no air goes up your sleeve...man it's like a ski coat or something but I love it.

And we got a gift card from Al's mother to go to Outback Steakhouse which is our favorite restaraunt. We've never had a bad experience there and that honey wheat bread is the best. *drool*
By the way....they have a new steak on the menu - the Chargrilled Ribeye - that is to DIE FOR. Delicious heaven. I will be ordering that from now on. Usually I'm a porterhouse or NY Strip kind of girl, but this thing was so good.

Anyway....we got a Pollyanna gift card to GameStop so we will be picking up Shaun White's snowboarding game to go with the Fit we got. And a gift card to a local Thai place that is fabulous too.

So yeah...great xmas! Haha


P.S. MY LITTLE GUY HAS BEEN SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT!
I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY I COULD PEE MYSELF!
YAY!

I'm an Atheist but I Believe in Christmas Miracles

I may have been half-joking when I said all I want for Christmas was for my baby to sleep through the night, but for the past 3 nights, my little guy has been sleeping through the night until 5 or 6 in the morning - which is AWESOME considering he'd get up 3 times, then 2 times then finally once in the middle of the night. Although preparing for xmas the past few nights and not really going to sleep until very late, I did notice that he didn't wake up at 1am as usual. I didn't go to bed early enough to get the full enjoyment out of the new phenomenon.

Well, last night, I got a Christmas Miracle.
I went to bed around 12:30am, and my eyes didn't open until the middle of a dream where I was working for a children's magazine and my boss was Jamie Foxx. That dream was interrupted for an 8am sound of children playing - YES! So the pre-programmed coffee was already brewed and we fixed a cup. We changed some poop and pee diapers and let the children out to see the presents. We even had the video camera ready. All of this readiness was awesome. Normally this isn't the case, but we made sure to prepare. I am so thrilled it all worked out. My little angel was excited to see all the presents and my little guy was a bit hungry but it all was cool. How exciting for us as parents! It was like being little all over again. I haven't been this excited about xmas in YEARS. :) :) :) Smiles all around.

Seriously though, I have the best son in the world for getting me a decent night of sleep for Christmas. Either there is a God after all, or my son can read my thoughts. Or it's just a fantastic coincidence. Either way, this was a fabulous Christmas. from a mommy of two's point of view.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Pssst....

Any weapons?

I forgot to mention that I made a funny at the club on Wednesday night.
As we walked in the door, the bouncer had me hold out my arms and asked me if I had any weapons.

I grabbed my boobs and I replied, "Not unless you count these!" and he laughed with gusto and chuckled, "now that's what I'm talkin' about. That's good, that's good. Don't ever change!"

I was snickering about that for a good 2 minutes after, all proud of my funny.

Now THAT kind of response comes only from the wit of an experienced (old) person. Hahaha!


I'm making my famous zucchini muffins today to take to a dinner party we are going to tonight, so I have to go get some of the main ingredient from the produce section of my local grocery store.

Good day.

"Religion and Science Don't Mix"

Where do I begin?

There have been so many thoughts in my head all night and all day that I
can't keep up with them all - especially because now when I think of something poignant I get the irritating urge to "blog" it for the sake of you people - whoever you are - the masses - the people who I suppose I must inform.

I'll start with now and go backwards.

First of all, my husband has been on the phone with one of our more intelligent friends who is also quite opinionated, atheist, artistically talented, musically talented, and exceptionally animated. He's not bad on the eyes either, but that really has no relevance here. He is the creator of a discussion board that we've been members of for years now - originally a Philly music/DJ/dance scene collective which has grown significantly as a place for friends to argue, in most recent years about politics and religion. If you were to take a glance, one might assume it was a bunch of raging left-wing liberal atheists getting into it with anyone who wanted to discuss and armed with various articles, journals, viral videos, and authoritative figures in the media. I try not to engage in most of those threads simply because they exhaust me. Like most adults, I have formed the gist of my opinions and don't see the point in arguing too much anymore.

So they are on the phone having a discussion about the discussion board online (lol) and our friend is telling us about all these ideas he has for teaching kids critical thinking and other stuff. My husband gives him this anecdote that I've been meaning to remember to write about his son.

My husband has a 10 year old son who is very smart, has wanted to be a herpetologist since he was 5, and recently got honors for just about everything, A+ average, etc. Here's the thing....he just started Catholic school this year and has been at public most of his life. He tells us they are teaching them about the Big Bang theory, BUT.....before they begin the lesson, they tell them "we are going to teach you this scientific theory, but we don't believe in this." WTF?!?!?!?]
That's not confusing at all!
The nun goes on to say "science and religion just don't mix."

Seriously though, how do they sleep at night confusing the shit out of 10 year olds?
We asked him what he thought about this, and he said, "Personally I believe in the Big Bang." Smart boy.


***********************************************************


Last Night @ the Goth Club


I took my sister, who is 20, to her first time at any night club. I was so happy that she had a great time. I chose the goth/industrial club because she's into that kind of music, plus I used to be into that shit earlier this decade. She's normally antisocial, doesn't even like restaurants because she doesn't want to be around people. She spends most of her time up in her room at the parents' house, playing WoW, watching anime, Spongebob or Comedy Central, or dancing around by herself to hardcore industrial music.


(I'm pissed I didn't have my awesome knee high heel boots on in this picture, but oh well - I wasn't going to drive a stick with them on.)

She was most apprehensive and anxious about going, even though she was excited to go, and almost psyched herself out of going based solely on fears of possible scenarios that she manifested in her mind all day. Thankfully she came over and we got all dressed up and we went. She was fine once we were on our way, and she was even MORE fine once we were there and her eyes drank up the sights of all the "hot guys" she saw and the outfits people had on and of course hearing the music that she liked. She was even exposed to stuff she hadn't heard before, and HOW CONVENIENT they had a light display hanging from the DJ booth that indicated what song was playing and by what artist. I especially loved the DJs name "DJ Knobhead" LOLOLOL
So ridiculous.

Now I was glad she had fun, and even I had fun and we both danced our asses off - which was another surprise seeing her get down like that - but the whole time I was thinking to myself and saying out loud to her that I'm so old, I'm too old to be doing this shit. Hell, even while I was scrambling around earlier looking for something to wear maybe from my old goth days (which my sister now possesses), I was thinking - all my stuff is too nice! I look so OLD with these clothes.

Now don't get me wrong, I dress pretty nice, even though most of my shit is casual wear, but I have stuff from Victoria's Secret catalog and New York & Company and form fitting stretch jeans from Gloria Vanderbilt. These are not club clothes. These are clothes that I have because they make me look good and I don't look like a loser slob. And again, they are not slutty ass club clothes. But I have some clothes that I would wear to an electronic music venue (I mean jeez, my husband was a breaks DJ all over Philly just a few years ago before we had kids and he had to play his records in our basement instead of going to gigs all the time. But I have stuff I'd wear to the annual boat parties we threw and to trendy bars in Center City or whatever. Again, I have nice things, but they just don't look right at a goth club....they just made me feel old is all.

Well, I'm not really that old, but being as I couldn't hang out in the 21+ room because I was with her, I was surrounded by 18-22 year olds. That didn't help. I still had a good time though. I told this one cute little guy that I liked his dancing. He thought that was cool and so took up to talking with us for a while off the dance floor. He was quick to give hugs and was acting all silly, which I found only slightly annoying because I'm privy to all those youngster mating rituals that have zero effect on me these days, but my sister had just as good a time as any her age making mean faces at him and sticking her tongue out at him and pushing and shoving and attempting to bond in that stags wrestling horns kind of way. I wasn't having any part of that. He attempted to engage me in that silly play, but I just felt all too ridiculous as a disapproving mother might watching toddlers gleefully slinging Wii remotes around for fun.

I quickly got into the music though, which was a big help, because I even jumped up on the elevated stages in the main dance room and showed up one of the hoochie mamas dancing up there with a boring ass stripper move. I still got moves. +1 for me!

So this guy asks for my number and I'm like HAHA I'm married, and he's like "oh it's not like that" and I'm like yeah right to myself, and I tell him if he wants to hang out, she's the one to call, pointing at my sister. So he gets the point and goes off saying something. Then later as my sis and I are dancing happily in the 80's room, he comes up to my sis and gets her number. I was so thrilled that she made a friend and that HE APPROACHED HER (that's good for the self-esteem) even though he wasn't really someone she'd be interested in banging or anything LOL.

One quick recap though, when he asked how old we were, I told him she was 20 and that I was 29. He looked at me with surprise and said "WHAAAAAAAAAAAT??? You don't look 29!" And I was pleased.

She was so happy with her experience she wanted to come back next week, but I'm like hell no, I'm too old and tired for this crap on a weekly basis. She better make some friends or learn to be like me and go out by yourself. So hopefully she'll make some friends. I told her I 'd go like once a month with her for a bit until she got to know someone well enough to go with them instead haha.

I am optimistic about her endeavors into adulthood now. I was worried she would be my age still sitting in our parents' house living as if she was just a tenant with an apartment upstairs. Which is pretty much how it is now. My mom doesn't even know when she's awake or asleep. That's just sad.

I was hungry afterward but the diner nearby doesn't serve food past 1am and it was already 2am by then so I got us to my house, she went home, and I took a shower and ate some ham, cheese and crackers before I passed out. I am so happy that the baby slept the whole time between my arrival and the usual morning wake time. I napped off and on all day though. I feel bad my kids are so accustomed to staring at the tv all day long. It makes me want to curl up and call myself a bad mommy. I swear once that kid sleeps through the night every night I will have so much more energy and be able to get out more.

I don't know how to end this other than my husband is finally off the phone and I have to go to bed early and get over the fact that I didn't get to spend the little time between kiddy bedtime and adult bedtime with him. I AM PISSY HEAR ME ROAR. And I'm probably going to get my period for Christmas AGAIN for the 3rd year in a row. Fucking woman shit.

Ok, time for hot cocoa and dragging the husband to the bedroom with my metaphorical cavewoman club for some luvin.

Fear & Sleeping in Pennsylvania

Ok so I should not have stayed up til 1:30am playing WoW.
The baby slept from 9 to 4am.
I COULD have gotten a good night's sleep if I'd gone to bed at 10.
But nooo....I got about 2.5 hours of sleep then had to get up and feed him and make bottle and whatever. Then I got back to sleep at 5am. Then the kids were up at 7.

I am so damn tired.
Actually, yet again I should be trying to get a nap but I had to check something online and now look here I am blogging. The baby is down for his morning nap. The toddler is playing in her big pop up castle and other various toys. If I get this out fast enough I could put on Oswald the octopus and try to nap while she watches that. But now she is playing with the toy tool set and hammering a "nail" which is awesome because, you know, the baby is asleep and all.

My husband took the Trooper to work today instead of the train because 1)he was running late and was going to have to take a late train and he had a committee meeting to get to, and 2) he said my present was in the back and he didn't have time to cover it and didn't want me to see it so he just took it.

So now I'm afraid that someone ELSE will see it and take it! He does work in west Philly after all. Well, I'll hope for the best and not be afraid! H4\/3 |\|0 PH34|2!

Tonight I will be taking my sister to a club for her first time ever. And it's a goth/industrial club. Don't worry, I have spent plenty of time in places like this in my early twenties so it's not like I'm in for a shock or anything. In fact, I jumped online to see if I could look up a certain DJ that might get us in some kind of list or something. I wonder if he still goes to this weekly goth night or if he spins there even!

Well now I'm typing with my left hand because I just changed a shit diaper with the other. Time to go....

Awwwwww Angry Gnome & Statikradio

No Onion

I decided not to go get an onion.
Her house is closer to me than the damn grocery store so whatever. I'm sure it will taste just fine without. There's plenty of garlic and cumin in there for flavor.

Oh well, I missed

Missed a day, so much for the December post every day thing.

Gotta make some arroz con pollo and pinto beans for dinner for 2 families.
I volunteered to make dinner for a fellow MOMS Club member since she just had a baby and moved to a new house and doesn't have a kitchen ready yet.

Go figure the day I'm supposed to make it and take it there it's snowing outside today.
Damn!
I just want to stay inside!
I don't have an onion either (or onion powder to substitute) so now I have to go get one! Grr.

Ugly Holiday Sweater & The Christmas Tree

Last night was so funny.
The 2008 Ugly Holiday Sweater Party as thrown by my friend Gene.
Of course the bastard also won the ugliest sweater award....but I was runner up! WOOHOO!

Posing for pics with the winner:



I got nice and toasty and I absolutely loved the hideous blue sweater I was wearing....complete with eggs and a stick of butter. The best over all christmas outfit was a girl named Candy who totally looked like an ornament.



I even did a shot of Jaeger which I hate.



But yeah....some pretty serious ugly sweaters, y'all...



















MMMMmmmm RUMBALLS!


We got our tree today!!!!
But I'm not done decorating yet.
It's a lovely Blue Spruce. Mmmmmm smells so good.
My little girl picked it out. It was surprisingly painless getting in and out of there! Hooray!

Sorry about last night....

Oh last night I got the kids to bed at 7pm!
Hot damn!
I could play some WoW finally or wrap some presents or whatever I wanted!
And when husband came home from school I could maybe even get some, but NOOOOOOOO.
I got the WORST headache.
I felt sick to my stomach the pain was so bad.
SO I took 3 Motrin and went to sleep.
What a bummer.
What's worse is I had to get up at midnight cuz of the baby and didn't go back to bed until 3am because Al was up too and I got to doing stuff online or whatever.
Anyway, I couldn't get to sleep and then not 20 minutes after I finally fell asleep the baby was up AGAIN. UGH. So...it was a rough night but at least my headache went away.

Today my parents came over for lunch, my dad brought me a wreath he'd made for me (he's a florist) and my mom came a bit later because she got a half day at work. It was nice because Al stayed home today for a vacation day and everyone hung out for a bit. My dad and I walked to the local florist shop where one of his ex-coworkers was now working, what a coincidence it's in my neighborhood and they talked shit about their old job and their old asshole of a boss. He got me some green Oasis florist's foam so I could make my own arrangement with the flora I got at the craft store. Very nice...now I can actually make it since I'll have something to stick the berries and foliage into.

They had to leave though because my sister didn't come with, she says because she was cranky and started her period, whatever, and they had to go back home and pick her up so they could go see a movie. Sometimes I think she doesn't realize she's a butthead. lol Thanks for not visiting, ya PMSing jerk!

Not much going on now. Kids down for nap.
Guess I'll play some video games or something.

Don't Want To Do Housework??

Then look at these goofy pictures instead, ya lazy bum:

Apparently I Look Like Michael Jordan

This is an oldie, but goodie.
I stumbled upon this while updating my myspace page.



I guess I can see the resemblence.
Harry Houdini, not too shabby LOL - what a goofy program.

Anyway, so today I hope I get a chance to hit the nearby nun's thrift shop where I have a good feeling there will be a decent amount of ugly holiday sweaters to peruse. Depends on if I can get someone to watch the kids or get the gumption to actually take them with me....blech. No like.

I am listening to "Utopia" by Goldfrapp.
Sexy.



And now for a healthy dose of celebrity sexy to get you over the hump day in my new weekly feature - WIN WEDNESDAYS.
I'll even make sure to cover both genders for my readers.
Aren't I generous?
Hehe.....I said "hump."

CAN I HAS Auto Industry Bailout? Plus, Gas Chart FTW

First of all....it's about time the gas was cheap again.
I may sound old, but I remember a time when I saw regular unleaded at 0.77 cents per gallon back in Texas. But it's not my fault gas prices quadrupled in 10 years.

Check this out, this chart is WIN! All you have to do is put in some cities that are relevant to you and see the trends.

And now for more humor and less news.
Did someone say Auto Industry Bailout?

American Buisiness is such a spoiled underachieving brat.

SHOP SHOPSHOP

Stayed up too late playing WoW last night.
Taking kids to my cousin's house so she can go to WalMart while our kids' play together, then when she gets back, she will watch them and I will go shop shop shop and do my things that I hate doing with the kids tagging along.

And I totally gotta get some ugly holiday sweaters at a thrift store for the Ugly Holiday Sweater this weekend.

Ok bye.

Dog Day Morning

Well my mom's chihuahua, Maya, died at the age of 13 years last night.
Upper respiratory infection and congestive heart failure.
I talked to my sister because she called me about it and I told her I'd better not talk directly to mom about it.
1. Because she was all upset.
2. Because all I really want to say to her is "I told you so" and that's not very nice.

I want to say I told you so because that dog has been wheezing for months now with a nasty cough and I kept saying they better take her to the vet.
What did mother say?
"I've been too busy."
And the vet she liked was an hour away.
"Mark my words," I said, "you better make some time or she's gonna end up dead."

Well, they wouldn't take her and didn't take her and finally I called the stupid vet that was an hour away and I made an appointment for her. I don't know what the hell good a "better vet" does you if you don't ever go there. One down the street would have been better than nothing, in my opinion. So my mom was miffed that I made an appointment for the dog behind her back because she would have to take her on a Saturday morning but wtf?

Anyway so they gave her a shot then and gave her some meds to give her.
You know the kind of meds you have a powder and a liquid and you mix them up and refrigerate. Well they didn't tell her they mixed it up already and of course she didn't check the bag until the next day which meant she didn't refrigerate it and so she only got a few doses of it before it was bad. So how does one get more? Drive an hour back to the vet of course! Did she do that????

What do you think?
NO! Who has time for that!?!?!?!
UGH.

So now the beloved dog is dead and my mom is all boohooing about it and all I can think is "if you really cared so much you would have taken the time to take preventative measures."
And so I don't want to talk to her because I know my fat mouth will say something unsympathetic. Why does my mom have to be so lazy with her things? She's a workaholic so I can't really call her lazy per se, but look what she does with her home life?!?!

The kicker is her and my step-dad whom I call "daddy" came home and watched, of all things, Must Love Dogs. I think they like wallowing in misery. That's all I can think of. My sister and I were on the phone with her in the room there talking about it and she said "Why didn't you just watch The Mummy or something?"
"Yeah," I said, "The Mummy 4, The Dog that came back and ate all your food."
They still have two cats left but I mentioned I don't care to have any more cats because I've seen so many dead ones in my lifetime. And that's enough for me. They just make my home smell like shit anyway and come to find out after 20 something years of being around them, I didn't realize I was allergic to them until I finally was in a home without them around. No longer am I the sneeze demon I used to be my whole life. Seriously, what an eye-opener that was. But anyway....so we joked a little about the dog and tried to make light of the whole thing. My sister told me she said she didn't want anymore dogs or cats. The replacement animal syndrome would go on no longer.

To which I added, "This is why I like fish."

Please Touch Me

Today Al and I took the kids to the Please Touch Museum.
It was a blast! (And you were probably thinking this was a horny post LOL!
My friend Tia invited us to go with her kids who are about the same ages only her boy was first and her girl was the younger one. I called her my son's girlfriend. haha so cute. My son and her Cambodian GF. ADORABLE.

The PTM is an awesome place for kids.
Finally, a place where everything is "yes yes yes" instead of "no no no."
At first my little munchkin didn't know what to do with herself.
Could she touch these things?
She mostly looked at everything but didn't go near it.
I had to tell her go ahead, go play, get up there, do you want to see it, go ahead and touch it, it's ok, etc etc.
It made me think, OMG my daughter is so scared I'll yell at her she doesn't touch anything, which can be a good thing and a bad thing if that's the case. I mean she may just be tentative by nature. But I seriously wondered if I was breaking her spirit by telling her no no no all the time and not giving her anything to do but watch tv during the day. My excuse is that I'm so dead tired all the time from the baby waking up during the night. I can't wait until he sleeps through the night like she does.

On the other hand, it is kind of good that she has listened to my no no nos and is thoughtful enough not to run towards all these things screaming and pushing other kids down trying to get to things they find fascinating. My baby isn't a neanderthal! She's a classy lady! w00t!

But you see my dilemma?
Do I suck and I'm just a mean mommy that's holding my smart little cookie back by not stimulating her enough? Or am I lucky that I have a smart little cookie that already knows to restrain herself (at least when I'm looking haha) before the age of 3? My gut tells me I need to cut that tv shit out and get out more. So I've been sucking, I guess. I'm just so tired.

Well, the place had all kinds of stuff for them to do anyway.
She eventually got in to it and had a blast.
There was a play grocery store where kids could push a little cart around and pick up play food from the shelves and go to the checkout. She only filled up her cart halfway with fruits and veggies and some cake mix and mac & cheese boxes. That's my girl! No processed foods for us! I saw other kids with their baskets full to the brim with everything in the place!

There was a medical center with little babies and bottles and diapers like a nursery, stethoscopes, lab coats, and x-rays on the wall.

There was a little "stoop" area with 2 houses, one with a porch, it was all fenced off with a white picket fence of course, and there was a play garden with silk flowers, and mops and brooms and a vacuum. There were even cool adirondack chairs for parents to sit in as if it were the yard to the houses. She loved it in there.

There was a water play area with water tables galore, splashing and rubber ducks and water wheels and all that jazz. I'm surprised she didn't stay there longer.

She loved the slides that we could find.

There was this awesome Alice in Wonderland maze made out of fake hedges with a giant tree in the middle where she had her best time. The tree was hollow and inside was a lit room with a "cast iron" stove and a table with a tea set on it. She loved pouring tea for everyone. I had no idea she was a tea party kind of girl. I'm so happy to find out my mom got her a tea set for xmas and I'm excited for her! She's gonna love it!

Unfortunately after a while the baby was screaming from being tired and I left the stupid binky in the car so we had to go.

We said bye to Tia and headed to his work to pick up a computer (he's a head honcho IT guy - see I knew I'd marry an IT guy lol) then we went home.

I made a delicious meal (baked chicken with mushroom & onion, white wine sauce, vermicelli pasta and fresh broccoli with cheese. Oh yeah.

Welp, there are only 2 minutes left until midnight so I better publish this long ass blog so it counts for today. BAM!

I has tuf

Once I got to mom's, I had a Bloody Mary waiting for me thanks to dear old daddy.
You da man.

Now I'm home, kids asleep.

Survived another day in Mommyland....

Held Hostage by Children

I have been trying to get out of this house all day.
This morning I popped out of bed to change diapers, feed breakfast and put on the tv.
I didn't get even get my coffee until 1pm because I fell asleep around 11:30 after little guy was in bed at 10:30 and darling banshee was watching her favorite show after her snack.

She woke me up several times though just to make sure that my napping didn't actually do me any good.

So 1pm little guy still isn't awake yet and I'm groggy and the phone rings a couple of times. Dad, husband, some guy I bought something off the internet from but paid for the wrong kind of shipping so I had to go do the whole Paypal rigmarole again.

I even did some laundry.
I decided to go have dinner at my parents tonight because Al wants to go beat on drums at his friend's house tonight. So my chicken & pasta with white white onion & mushroom sauce will have to wait until tomorrow. I must say I shouldn't complain, but sausage & rice just isn't going to satisfy that tangy mushroom sauce craving.

It will fill me up though.

THAT IS IF I CAN EVER GET OUT OF THIS FUCKING HOUSE!!!!!!!

It's almost 5pm and I still haven't left yet!
I left the kids in their room for only a moment - YES I KNOW THOSE ARE THE MAGIC WORDS, AREN'T THEY? - and I'm thinking ok cool, we are all dressed, ready to go in a matter of moments now! AND THEN................



THIS.





















OH LOVELY.
BABYPOWDERSMELLSGOODBUTYOUCAN'TGETTHESHITOUTOFBABYHAIRWITHOUTABATH.

So in the bath he goes.
I had to dust off everything and wipe toys with a wet rag and now he is screaming in the playpen and I still have to vaccuum. It was all over her bed too so I'll have to change the sheets.
Will I ever leave?
Should I cancel?
Ugh, well I don't have a dinner ready that's for sure.
So....I have to go now, internets.
I have been defeated.

Kids Make Black Holes All the Time

My children are the creators of black holes.
I swear I got up and dressed early enough to do some xmas shopping.
I was going to stop at the bank and deposit some cash into my old bank account so I could send some paypal today....but when I got there I didn't have the nerve to leave them in the car to run inside and do it because I feared people would call Child services or something on me or think I was a horrible mother leaving my kids in a locked car for 5 minutes. Whatever. I didn't want to take them inside either because it didn't seem worth it to me to take out the toddler and the sleeping infant just to go inside for 5 minutes.

So you see, simple errands + children = huge annoyances and dilemmas that irritate the soul.

So I decided not to go in at all, even though I know I will have to address this issue today at some point. Maybe when the little guy is awake I can do it. So I drive to the thrift store and call my mother-in-law to see if she will watch them, but yet AGAIN she is too busy and things are so "hectic" at her house that it isn't a good time. She then said she could totally watch them so I could go xmas shopping sometimes, but that's what she said last week before Thanksgiving, which was also a "hectic" day when I called. So I figured I'd call today since it was a week later, but to no avail....I guess it's the neverending "sure I'll watch them" but only when you don't need to go anywhere or after you've already gone. I get "I could have watched them" a lot too.

Anyway....so about those black holes....it's already after 2pm and I swore I left inthe morning. I only parked at the bank, grabbed some Wendy's drive-thru and went down the street to the thrift store. WTF? But with kids it's like they just SUCK THE TIME right out from under you. Little Black Hole Makers.



I got plenty of shit at the thrift store, a whole bag full of baby clothes and some kiddy books and a wooden puzzle. $49.00

So now I'm home since they were screaming and everything while at the store. My darling little banshee got slapped in the face by me not even two minutes after we walked in the place because she removed her brother's socks and bit him hard on the toes. UGH! DON'T BITE! BITING IS BAD! BITING IS NOT NICE! BITING IS MEAN! DON'T BITE! WE DON'T BITE! And I thought for sure the Yo Gabba Gabba song, "Don't Bite Your Friends" would have sunk in. This morning even I sang it with different words, "Don't Bite Your Mama!" and that was a hit too. I guess it's time for "Don't Bite the Baby!"

Poor little baby though, I didn't realize he was sitting on a little rubber duck the entire time we were out, and when I got him out of his chair, I saw it and when I removed his diaper to change him, he had a big red circle on his butt where the duck's head had been. No wonder the poor little guy was screaming. I felt awful.

So anyway, it's time to put kiddies down for nap.
I hope it works.
Wish me luck.

Social Networking Wars and Dancing Hexapods

Hello there, internets.

First of all today, I've had several moments that I've felt were blog-worthy but I never made it downstairs when the thoughts came to me, so alas, they have been forgotten.

But I do have a couple of random awesome viral videos for your viewing pleasure.
Everyone loves a bit of entertainment and what better than a comedy about myspace and facebook.......




..... and dancing robots?




In other news....I need Cat to add me to myspace since she is impenetrable on there. Can't even send you a message to ask you if you will add me as a friend because you have to be a fucking friend to talk to you! How do you ever meet anyone if you can't talk to anyone!?!!!?!?!? GRR!

All I Ever Do is Bitch

Well, I'm pretty good at bitching, but I don't want to come off as just a bitchy person.
Really I can be nice. I thought I was nice. WTF!

I thought, well I could be a comedian, all they do is bitch about things on stage. And the more you relate to a comedian's bitching, the harder you laugh because usually relating to negative or nonsensical commentary has a direct correlation on one's perception of how funny a person is. Whatever.

For example, if I were to say to you, internets, that I had a daydream the other day while my toddler was screaming to me from the bottom of the steps "JUICY! JUICY! JUICY!" - meaning "I want juicy right now this very second" - and in this daydream she was indeed yelling at me like in real life only I walked over to the top of the steps and I chucked a juice box at her head and it knocked her backwards on her ass.

If you can relate to the annoyance of your beloved flesh and blood in miniature form screaming demands at you, then getting past the initial "how can you want to hurt a child" thing melts easily away. Then horrible ideas like punting your children across the room (or anywhere away from where you are) sounds like a hilarious forbidden pleasure. To someone who doesn't have any idea what it's like to be around a toddler AND ALSO FEEL OBLIGATED TO LOVE AND PROTECT THEM, which sometimes feels like conflicting interest or rather an oxymoron, I don't know that they would laugh as hard as another mom. So...LOL BITCHES! I totally cracked up in the kitchen while I was pulling that juice box from the fridge while my husband wondered what the hell I was laughing about all alone then I walked ever so nicely down the stairs and handed it to her and told her not to spill it. The little sweetheart.....LOLOLOLOL


Oh yeah...so about the bitching thing. I was going to bitch about how PayPal sucks a big one not only for not allowing joint accounts or being able to use the same bank account as another PP user even though it's MY joint account, but that my husband's PP has been flagged erroneously by their automatic "system" and can't send instant transfers for who knows how long, because *GASP* he has a suspicious pattern of sending money to people! ROFLCOPTER. WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF PAYPAL? Hmmm.....let me think.......OH I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE TO SEND FUCKING MONEY TO OTHER PEOPLE?!!????????????????????????????

LUDICROUS.

The best part is that once the system, and I quote the guy, "feels" that your account should be flagged, there isn't even a way to manually override the thing. Now I don't know about you, but I'm not so sure I feel comfortable letting a system that can "feel" handle my money. Especially since it is obviously PMSing. Fuck you, PP. I might as well go back to sending checks.

Caving in to the Blogosphere

Ok so I joined some goofy December post every day for a month thing.

I don't know what I'll get out of it other than an excuse to keep up with my posts.
So here ya go, internets....a post from yours truly, the one and only, statikradio aka Teri. I know I know, I'm so awesome you can't help but read. That's why I only have 3 followers. Because I'm so awesome, nobody can find me.


Here is a picture of some shit.