Thursday, December 18, 2008

"Religion and Science Don't Mix"

Where do I begin?

There have been so many thoughts in my head all night and all day that I
can't keep up with them all - especially because now when I think of something poignant I get the irritating urge to "blog" it for the sake of you people - whoever you are - the masses - the people who I suppose I must inform.

I'll start with now and go backwards.

First of all, my husband has been on the phone with one of our more intelligent friends who is also quite opinionated, atheist, artistically talented, musically talented, and exceptionally animated. He's not bad on the eyes either, but that really has no relevance here. He is the creator of a discussion board that we've been members of for years now - originally a Philly music/DJ/dance scene collective which has grown significantly as a place for friends to argue, in most recent years about politics and religion. If you were to take a glance, one might assume it was a bunch of raging left-wing liberal atheists getting into it with anyone who wanted to discuss and armed with various articles, journals, viral videos, and authoritative figures in the media. I try not to engage in most of those threads simply because they exhaust me. Like most adults, I have formed the gist of my opinions and don't see the point in arguing too much anymore.

So they are on the phone having a discussion about the discussion board online (lol) and our friend is telling us about all these ideas he has for teaching kids critical thinking and other stuff. My husband gives him this anecdote that I've been meaning to remember to write about his son.

My husband has a 10 year old son who is very smart, has wanted to be a herpetologist since he was 5, and recently got honors for just about everything, A+ average, etc. Here's the thing....he just started Catholic school this year and has been at public most of his life. He tells us they are teaching them about the Big Bang theory, BUT.....before they begin the lesson, they tell them "we are going to teach you this scientific theory, but we don't believe in this." WTF?!?!?!?]
That's not confusing at all!
The nun goes on to say "science and religion just don't mix."

Seriously though, how do they sleep at night confusing the shit out of 10 year olds?
We asked him what he thought about this, and he said, "Personally I believe in the Big Bang." Smart boy.


Last Night @ the Goth Club

I took my sister, who is 20, to her first time at any night club. I was so happy that she had a great time. I chose the goth/industrial club because she's into that kind of music, plus I used to be into that shit earlier this decade. She's normally antisocial, doesn't even like restaurants because she doesn't want to be around people. She spends most of her time up in her room at the parents' house, playing WoW, watching anime, Spongebob or Comedy Central, or dancing around by herself to hardcore industrial music.

(I'm pissed I didn't have my awesome knee high heel boots on in this picture, but oh well - I wasn't going to drive a stick with them on.)

She was most apprehensive and anxious about going, even though she was excited to go, and almost psyched herself out of going based solely on fears of possible scenarios that she manifested in her mind all day. Thankfully she came over and we got all dressed up and we went. She was fine once we were on our way, and she was even MORE fine once we were there and her eyes drank up the sights of all the "hot guys" she saw and the outfits people had on and of course hearing the music that she liked. She was even exposed to stuff she hadn't heard before, and HOW CONVENIENT they had a light display hanging from the DJ booth that indicated what song was playing and by what artist. I especially loved the DJs name "DJ Knobhead" LOLOLOL
So ridiculous.

Now I was glad she had fun, and even I had fun and we both danced our asses off - which was another surprise seeing her get down like that - but the whole time I was thinking to myself and saying out loud to her that I'm so old, I'm too old to be doing this shit. Hell, even while I was scrambling around earlier looking for something to wear maybe from my old goth days (which my sister now possesses), I was thinking - all my stuff is too nice! I look so OLD with these clothes.

Now don't get me wrong, I dress pretty nice, even though most of my shit is casual wear, but I have stuff from Victoria's Secret catalog and New York & Company and form fitting stretch jeans from Gloria Vanderbilt. These are not club clothes. These are clothes that I have because they make me look good and I don't look like a loser slob. And again, they are not slutty ass club clothes. But I have some clothes that I would wear to an electronic music venue (I mean jeez, my husband was a breaks DJ all over Philly just a few years ago before we had kids and he had to play his records in our basement instead of going to gigs all the time. But I have stuff I'd wear to the annual boat parties we threw and to trendy bars in Center City or whatever. Again, I have nice things, but they just don't look right at a goth club....they just made me feel old is all.

Well, I'm not really that old, but being as I couldn't hang out in the 21+ room because I was with her, I was surrounded by 18-22 year olds. That didn't help. I still had a good time though. I told this one cute little guy that I liked his dancing. He thought that was cool and so took up to talking with us for a while off the dance floor. He was quick to give hugs and was acting all silly, which I found only slightly annoying because I'm privy to all those youngster mating rituals that have zero effect on me these days, but my sister had just as good a time as any her age making mean faces at him and sticking her tongue out at him and pushing and shoving and attempting to bond in that stags wrestling horns kind of way. I wasn't having any part of that. He attempted to engage me in that silly play, but I just felt all too ridiculous as a disapproving mother might watching toddlers gleefully slinging Wii remotes around for fun.

I quickly got into the music though, which was a big help, because I even jumped up on the elevated stages in the main dance room and showed up one of the hoochie mamas dancing up there with a boring ass stripper move. I still got moves. +1 for me!

So this guy asks for my number and I'm like HAHA I'm married, and he's like "oh it's not like that" and I'm like yeah right to myself, and I tell him if he wants to hang out, she's the one to call, pointing at my sister. So he gets the point and goes off saying something. Then later as my sis and I are dancing happily in the 80's room, he comes up to my sis and gets her number. I was so thrilled that she made a friend and that HE APPROACHED HER (that's good for the self-esteem) even though he wasn't really someone she'd be interested in banging or anything LOL.

One quick recap though, when he asked how old we were, I told him she was 20 and that I was 29. He looked at me with surprise and said "WHAAAAAAAAAAAT??? You don't look 29!" And I was pleased.

She was so happy with her experience she wanted to come back next week, but I'm like hell no, I'm too old and tired for this crap on a weekly basis. She better make some friends or learn to be like me and go out by yourself. So hopefully she'll make some friends. I told her I 'd go like once a month with her for a bit until she got to know someone well enough to go with them instead haha.

I am optimistic about her endeavors into adulthood now. I was worried she would be my age still sitting in our parents' house living as if she was just a tenant with an apartment upstairs. Which is pretty much how it is now. My mom doesn't even know when she's awake or asleep. That's just sad.

I was hungry afterward but the diner nearby doesn't serve food past 1am and it was already 2am by then so I got us to my house, she went home, and I took a shower and ate some ham, cheese and crackers before I passed out. I am so happy that the baby slept the whole time between my arrival and the usual morning wake time. I napped off and on all day though. I feel bad my kids are so accustomed to staring at the tv all day long. It makes me want to curl up and call myself a bad mommy. I swear once that kid sleeps through the night every night I will have so much more energy and be able to get out more.

I don't know how to end this other than my husband is finally off the phone and I have to go to bed early and get over the fact that I didn't get to spend the little time between kiddy bedtime and adult bedtime with him. I AM PISSY HEAR ME ROAR. And I'm probably going to get my period for Christmas AGAIN for the 3rd year in a row. Fucking woman shit.

Ok, time for hot cocoa and dragging the husband to the bedroom with my metaphorical cavewoman club for some luvin.


  1. Dude, I'm exhausted just THINKING about going to a club. That is so not anything I want to do anymore. Last time I went was for my sister's 21st, and boy - that was enough clubbing to last me the decade. I'd rather cozy up to a hole-in-the-wall bar, or better yet, on my own damn couch!

  2. I have a sister of that age, with similar home bound problems. Since we live on different continents, there isn't much I can do, though we go out clubbing whenever I'm home. Oddly, in Korea I party all the time and don't feel old, but stick me in a club in Canada and I feel every one of my 30 years!

  3. Dude, you look fucking hot!!!