Thursday, December 04, 2008

Kids Make Black Holes All the Time

My children are the creators of black holes.
I swear I got up and dressed early enough to do some xmas shopping.
I was going to stop at the bank and deposit some cash into my old bank account so I could send some paypal today....but when I got there I didn't have the nerve to leave them in the car to run inside and do it because I feared people would call Child services or something on me or think I was a horrible mother leaving my kids in a locked car for 5 minutes. Whatever. I didn't want to take them inside either because it didn't seem worth it to me to take out the toddler and the sleeping infant just to go inside for 5 minutes.

So you see, simple errands + children = huge annoyances and dilemmas that irritate the soul.

So I decided not to go in at all, even though I know I will have to address this issue today at some point. Maybe when the little guy is awake I can do it. So I drive to the thrift store and call my mother-in-law to see if she will watch them, but yet AGAIN she is too busy and things are so "hectic" at her house that it isn't a good time. She then said she could totally watch them so I could go xmas shopping sometimes, but that's what she said last week before Thanksgiving, which was also a "hectic" day when I called. So I figured I'd call today since it was a week later, but to no avail....I guess it's the neverending "sure I'll watch them" but only when you don't need to go anywhere or after you've already gone. I get "I could have watched them" a lot too. about those black's already after 2pm and I swore I left inthe morning. I only parked at the bank, grabbed some Wendy's drive-thru and went down the street to the thrift store. WTF? But with kids it's like they just SUCK THE TIME right out from under you. Little Black Hole Makers.

I got plenty of shit at the thrift store, a whole bag full of baby clothes and some kiddy books and a wooden puzzle. $49.00

So now I'm home since they were screaming and everything while at the store. My darling little banshee got slapped in the face by me not even two minutes after we walked in the place because she removed her brother's socks and bit him hard on the toes. UGH! DON'T BITE! BITING IS BAD! BITING IS NOT NICE! BITING IS MEAN! DON'T BITE! WE DON'T BITE! And I thought for sure the Yo Gabba Gabba song, "Don't Bite Your Friends" would have sunk in. This morning even I sang it with different words, "Don't Bite Your Mama!" and that was a hit too. I guess it's time for "Don't Bite the Baby!"

Poor little baby though, I didn't realize he was sitting on a little rubber duck the entire time we were out, and when I got him out of his chair, I saw it and when I removed his diaper to change him, he had a big red circle on his butt where the duck's head had been. No wonder the poor little guy was screaming. I felt awful.

So anyway, it's time to put kiddies down for nap.
I hope it works.
Wish me luck.


  1. Reminds me of a story my mom tells sheepishly, of me as an infant, in a pretty new Easter dress, screaming hysterically for no apparent reason while strapped in my car seat. Come to find out, the new Easter dress still had straight pins in it and they were poking me in multiple places. The duckie would have been better.

    Oh, and if you'd like to ship you children to me, I'd be happy to watch them. Just be sure to use FedEx and not UPS, cause I slept with him last week and now he's all clingy.

  2. Him being the UPS guy

  3. awe... poor little baby with a rubber ducky up his ass...

  4. Naps are a mother's best friend, whether the nap is for herself or the kids. I heart naps.
    And thanks for swingin' by my blog, stalker! LOL Good luck with getting the kids down for a while so you can have some mommy time to yourself.